The Daily Holiday Celebration
by FoxPhile
Summary: Sheldon finds that every day is a holiday. What ways will he find to celebrate? Rating may change if the muse takes me there. Story focuses on Sheldon, but most canon characters will be represented. This was inspired by The Opposite Day Speculation by We Built the Pyramids. You do not have to read it to understand this story, but it's a fun read, so go find it
1. The High-Five Honorarium

**Author's Note: This was inspired by **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. You do not have to read it to understand this story, but it's a fun read, so go find it and read it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**. Nor do I own any of the characters. But I like to play around with them, especially Sheldon – I totally reach Sheldon! I should also note that all of the holidays featured here I found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). Some holidays are copyrighted by www. wellcat .com. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**The High-Five Honorarium**

Amy stood waiting outside the door to 4A. She was pleased when her tall and lanky boyfriend opened the door, but somewhat surprised to see him standing with his right hand raised.

"High Five, Amy!"

Amy paused before crossing the threshold. "I know it's Anything Can Happen Thursday, Sheldon, but who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?"

"Yes, Amy, it IS Anything Can Happen Thursday. But it's also National High Five Day, always celebrated on the third Thursday in April, as well as International Juggler's Day, which is always April 18th. Therefore, I've greeted everyone this evening with a High Five, and I've asked Howard to bring his bowling pins so that he can provide us with appropriate entertainment for the evening. It's a good thing I found his juggling equipment when I organized his and Bernadette's closet, otherwise we might not have an appropriate means of celebrating the day!"

Amy dropped her bag beside the door and turned to face her boyfriend, after exchanging chagrined looks with her bestie, Penny. Raising her own hand, she lightly tapped Sheldon's, then proceeded to take her usual seat in the center of the sofa, nodding to Howard and Bernadette as she squeezed by.

"So, Sheldon," Penny piped up as she dug into her pasta, "How did you discover that today is High Five and Juggling Day and why the sudden desire to celebrate them?"

"Well, Penny", Sheldon answered as he took his own spot beside Amy, "Yesterday, I asked Leonard if he had completed the vacuuming and disinfected the bathroom, as it is his week for household chores. To which he responded, and I quote, 'Blah, blah, blah.'"

Leonard, sitting on the arm of the chair next to Penny, grinned.

Sheldon scowled at Leonard, but continued. "Then I asked him if he moved the refrigerator to clean behind it, since I detected a slight musty smell in that area of the kitchen."

"And what did he say?" Penny asked around a mouthful of Fettucini Carbonara.

"Well, I'm getting to that!" snapped Sheldon, "All he said, again, was 'Blah, blah, blah.'"

Leonard giggled and nearly fell off his perch. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette were whispering together and nudging each other, giggling and grinning.

Sheldon scowled again at Leonard and turned to address the Wolowitz couple, "Don't think I don't hear you two snickering over there!"

Howard and Bernadette immediately fell silent, but continued to exchange amused looks.

The theoretical physicist continued, "So finally I asked him to explain the significance of 'Blah, blah, blah', in this context and he told me he chanced upon a website of unusual holidays and yesterday was 'Blah, blah, blah' day. As a result of his discovery, he responded to most queries all day yesterday with 'Blah, blah, blah'. He further explained that the day is particularly targeted towards people who 'nag' you about doing routine jobs, thus he had some idea that it was particularly appropriate in the context of my inquiries regarding the household chores. Something I fail to understand, as I was not, in fact, 'nagging' him. I was simply trying to ascertain if he was fulfilling his proscribed duties per the Roommate Agreement. I have every right to make such inquiries, per the aforementioned agreement."

"You were too, nagging, Sheldon!" Leonard said, "You nag me about the same things every other week and every other week I assure you that I've cleaned everything to your precise specifications. It's annoying, therefore, blah, blah, blah!"

"It is not nagging, Leonard, if I'm allowed by the agreement to ask. The agreement does not put a limit on the frequency of inquiries." Sheldon picked up his own dish and settled back to poke through his Chicken Picatta. "Furthermore, you're welcome to ask me the same questions when it's my week to clean."

Just then another knock came on the door and Sheldon jumped up, set his plate back on the table and went to open the door.

Raj stood waiting on the other side and, like Amy, was confused at the sight of Sheldon with his hand raised. Noticing the girls were inside, he took a quick sip from his flask.

"What's with the hand, Sheldon?" he asked as he sauntered in the room and took his place on the floor.

"Get up, Raj, you have to give me a High Five."

Raj looked up at the tall man looming above him, a quizzical look on his face. "No I don't, Sheldon. I've had a long day and I'm staying right here. I hope someone remembered to order my Chicken Marsala, I'm starving! And you know ALL of your mothers told you about starving children in India! Well, that's me, folks." Raj grinned at his own joke.

"That was YOU?" Howard said, "I always thought Ma was just making that up!"

Bernadette slapped her husband on the arm, "That's not funny, Howard! There really are starving children, you know."

"He started it!" Howard protested, pointing at Raj.

Sheldon leaned over, waving his hand in Raj's face. "High Five, Raj!"

Raj turned back to look up at Sheldon again. "What's with the High Five business?"

"Here we go…" said Leonard and Penny, in unison.

Sheldon began the story again, this time, with fewer interruptions. After quoting the relevant sections from the Roommate Agreement, he continued, "Of course, I was skeptical regarding Leonard's claim. After all, who has ever heard of 'Blah, blah, blah' Day? So I did some research and found a website that lists holidays for virtually every day of the year. Holidays, by definition, are meant to be celebrated, so I've decided to celebrate those holidays in appropriate ways. The third Thursday in April is National High Five Day, so I've greeted everyone today with a High Five." At this he scowled again at the astrophysicist sitting at his feet. "Although there are SOME who don't seem to get into the spirit of the day!"

"Oh, all right, Sheldon!" Raj replied as he gave Sheldon's still raised hand a perfunctory slap.

Satisfied, Sheldon returned to his spot, stepping gingerly over Raj's crossed legs.

"And now, Howard, I believe it's time for your contribution to International Juggler's Day."

As Howard picked up his juggling pins, Bernadette said, "I'm going to warn you one last time, Sheldon, you really don't know what you're asking for. There's a reason those pins got lost in the closet!" She turned as her husband got up to stand in front of the group. Holding her hand in front of her, she motioned for Howard to move further away. "Howie, you make sure you're at least 20 feet away from me when you start tossing those things up in the air!"

"Bernie!" Howard griped, "If I'm 20 feet away, I won't even be in the room!"

"Fine by me!" said Bernadette.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, that's the start. I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you wonder how long Sheldon can keep this up, so do I. Of course, I wonder even more how long I can keep up writing about it. If I find inspiration, I may keep doing these throughout the year - although NOT every day! But I should be able to find one or two holidays a week for Sheldon to celebrate. You may have noticed I'm a bit behind the calendar, as this story is about April 18th. I have ideas for 3 more days that will get me caught up to today, and then we'll see where it goes from there.  
**

FF_1807614_ 4/28/2013


	2. The Zucchini Surprise

**Author's Note: Chapter 2 and we're skipping to April 23****rd****. This chapter features just Sheldon and Amy, and yes, it is a Shamy story. **

**This was inspired **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. You do not have to read it to understand this story, but it's a fun read, so go find it and read it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**. Nor do I own any of the characters. But I like to play around with them, especially Sheldon – I totally reach Sheldon! I should also note that all of the holidays featured here I found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**The Zucchini Surprise**

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Amy!"

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Amy!"

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Amy!"

Amy looked up from the brain she was dissecting, surprised to hear her boyfriend's signature knock. She wasn't expecting him, and Sheldon was nothing if not predictable. He himself hated surprises and assumed everyone else did as well, so what would bring him to her laboratory in the middle of the day without making prior arrangements? There was only one way to find out. Since she was gloved, she yelled, "Come in, Sheldon!"

The door opened and in walked the lanky physicist, carrying something wrapped in cellophane, with an amused expression on his face.

"How did you know it was me, Amy? I assumed since we had no pre-arranged meeting, that this would be a surprise."

Amy sighed. For someone with a genius IQ, Sheldon could be amazingly dim. She sometimes wondered if he made such comments on purpose, to maintain his socially inept persona. He so often was excused from faux pas that others simply wouldn't get away with, all on the strength of his reputation as a social idiot savant.

"Sheldon, I know no one else who insists on always knocking and announcing the name of the person being visited three times in succession. You, however, are quite reliable in that regard. I shudder to think what would happen if you were denied the ability to complete your ritual. In addition, of course, I've known you long enough to recognize your voice, even when muffled by two inches of particle board."

Sheldon placed his package on a clear spot on the counter and sat on the stool. "Well, I'm glad. I myself detest surprises, but, as today is 'World Laboratory Day', it's appropriate that I celebrate by visiting you in your laboratory, as you are the only one of my acquaintances who works in a true laboratory to which I have access. Apparently, Bernadette's company does not allow outside visitors, no matter what superior degrees and credentials they may have."

Amy smiled at her boyfriend and returned to concentrate on the brain in front of her. "Well, then. Happy Laboratory Day, Sheldon. While it is a surprise to see you here, it is a pleasant one. Although I confess that I'm also surprised that you contemplated visiting Bernadette today instead of me. After all, Sheldon, as your girlfriend, I would assume my laboratory would be your first choice." Amy realized she sounded a little jealous, and she supposed she was. She hoped Sheldon wouldn't pick up on that.

Sheldon squirmed a bit on his seat. "Well, Amy. I actually did think of your lab first. But I confess I was curious about Bernadette's, as I've never been there. In fact, yours is the only laboratory I've visited since graduate school and I was thinking a little variety would be nice. Unfortunately for me, it appears that Bernadette's laboratory is 'forbidden fruit', if you will." Sheldon sighed, his shoulder slumped in resignation. "It appears I'm just a one-laboratory man."

Amy grinned, inordinately pleased. "Sheldon, you know, my laboratory is your laboratory, and I wouldn't want it any other way." Glancing over, she noticed the cellophane wrapped parcel and pointed to it with her scalpel. "So what did you bring?"

Sheldon grinned happily. "I'm glad you noticed, Amy. This is zucchini bread, made from my Meemau's recipe. Today is also National Zucchini Bread Day. I thought we could share some as a snack."

Amy returned her attention to the brain. "Perhaps a little later, Sheldon, I'm dissecting one of the brains we infected with those prions that CalTech provided. I generally have a strong stomach, of course, but this brain is significantly deteriorated and it's a bit unappetizing."

"Very well." Sheldon answered. "So I take it our prions did their job?"

"Indeed." Amy responded.

The two scientists spent the next hour discussing various forms of prion diseases and their effects on human and animal victims. Amy showed Sheldon each section of the brain as she dissected it, allowing him to view some of the samples through the microscope. After finishing with the brain, she placed it, and the samples she removed, into a labeled container and placed them in a large refrigerator. Removing her gloves, she washed her hands thoroughly and returned with paper plates and a knife. Sitting at the edge of the lab counter, next to Sheldon, she presented him with the knife.

"So, what do you say we try your zucchini bread?"

Sheldon took the knife with some trepidation, holding it gingerly between his thumb and forefinger.

"Amy," he asked, "has this utensil been used in your work?" He glanced over to the refrigerator and back at his girlfriend. "Given your change from studying addiction to studying prion diseases of the brain, I'm concerned about the sort of germs that might be swarming on this knife!"

Amy's jaw dropped. She had to remember that Sheldon's fear of germs often superseded any rational thought.

"Sheldon," she began, and pointed to a neat label affixed to the handle of the knife. "The knife is clearly labeled 'For food ONLY', as is the cabinet it came from." Amy pointed to a cabinet behind her, which was, indeed, so labeled. "I and everyone I work with are scrupulously careful about cross-contamination. You have nothing to worry about."

Sheldon looked at the knife handle, then at the cabinet, scrutinizing each carefully. "Very well, Amy. But you know that prion diseases are believed by some to be the source of the zombie mythos. If I contract a prion disease from this knife, I will be sure to eat your brain first!"

Amy laughed. "That wouldn't be very smart, Sheldon. Since I'm researching prion diseases, I may be your only hope for an effective treatment."

Sheldon laughed his breathy laugh. "BAZINGA! I trust you, Amy. I know you are very careful with your laboratory tools and samples. I'm not really worried." He grasped the bread and began to unwrap it, slicing off generous pieces for each of them and placing them on the plates.

"Yum," Amy commented as she swallowed the first bite, "This is really delicious, Sheldon. I'm glad you decided to share National Zucchini Bread Day with me. But I am curious. In the past few days you've found a way to celebrate each of the holidays on that website. On National Garlic Day you wanted to travel to Gilroy, California to get garlic ice cream, but settled for garlic bread at home when you realized it would be an eight hour round trip. On Volunteer Recognition Day you visited a Volunteer Fire Department and brought pizza for all the volunteers, which was a lovely gesture. I do think you creeped them out a bit by offering to do their laundry simply because it was also laundry day. And I must say, after yesterday, National Jelly Bean Day, I've eaten my fill of Jelly Beans for at least a year. Therefore I'm curious that you haven't mentioned the other two holidays that are recognized on April 23rd."

Sheldon looked down, concentrating on the last morsel of his own piece of zucchini bread. "I'm not sure I know what you mean, Amy," he muttered. "It's also 'Take a Chance Day'. There was a chance you might not be here, and then I might have to wander into some stranger's laboratory and share my zucchini bread with them. Considering that scenario, I certainly took a chance today."

Amy shook her head, her lips pursed into a thin line of exasperation. "That's not the one I mean, Sheldon. You already know that I've been to the website, so you know that I know that today is also 'Lover's Day'. Just how do you plan on celebrating that one, Sheldon?"

Sheldon took a deep breath. He anticipated he might have to address this with Amy. Ever since his disastrous attempt to visit a kindergarten on Kindergarten Day, when she had to bail him out of jail and convince a magistrate that he wasn't some sort of pervert, Amy had been checking the website and knew what holidays he was going to celebrate each day. It was a vain hope that she might overlook 'Lover's Day'.

"Amy," he began, launching the speech he prepared earlier that day, "I acknowledge that I do have a girlfriend," he held out his hand to indicate the woman sitting opposite him, "you, obviously. However, we are not technically lovers. Nor do I, in fact, have a lover. That is a fact which I think should please you since, as we are not lovers, any lover I have would be someone other than you."

Sheldon laid his hands flat on the countertop, on either side of his plate. "Since I have no lover, it is patently impossible for me to celebrate Lover's Day. Therefore, unfortunately, that is a holiday that I will have to forego for the time being."

Amy looked up, her eyes widening. "For the time being, Sheldon?"

Sheldon looked into his girlfriend's eyes, "Yes, Amy," he said, as one hand crawled along the countertop until two of his fingertips barely touched hers, "For the time being."

* * *

FF_1807614_ 4/30/2013


	3. The Earthquake Endeavor

**Author's Note: Chapter 3. It's April 26****th**** and Sheldon is enlisting help to celebrate more holidays.**

**This was inspired **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. You do not have to read it to understand this story, but go read it anyway. You won't be sorry.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**. Don't own the holidays. All of the holidays featured here are found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**The Earthquake Endeavor**

Sheldon awoke on the morning of April 26th at his usual time and began his morning routine. He was preoccupied, however, because he wasn't quite sure how to deal with the day's holidays.

He'd managed Executive Admin's Day and Pig in a Blanket Day by sharing the tasty treats with his assistant, Alex. He was tickled that he was able to celebrate multiple holidays with a single activity. East Meets West Day was accomplished by having egg rolls instead of French fries with his hamburger at lunch. That had garnered some odd looks from his companions, but he realized he sometimes had to suffer for his convictions. Since it was also World Penguin Day, he convinced the group to watch _Happy Feet_ that evening. Take Your Daughter to Work Day, which was also the fourth Thursday in April, was a bit more difficult, since he didn't have any daughters. He fretted about that over their pizza that evening, until Amy reminded him that any potential daughters he might someday have were currently present in his DNA. Therefore, he had effectively carried them with him to work simply by going there himself.

April 26th provided three holiday challenges. National Pretzel Day was easy enough. He liked pretzels and could obtain one with which to celebrate virtually anywhere. Hug an Australian Day and Richter Scale Day presented difficulties he wasn't sure he could overcome. He could certainly find an Australian. There were at least two Australian professors on staff at the university, as well as a number of students. But Sheldon knew none of them personally. It was difficult enough for him to tolerate hugs from Amy. How could he possibly hug a total stranger?

As to Richter Scale Day, Sheldon was fairly sure no amount of him jumping up and down would generate an earthquake, and he could not think of any way to recognize the Richter Scale. Even if he could generate an earthquake, he really didn't think that was a good way to celebrate, as it might result in people being hurt or property being damaged.

Having pondered all this through his shower, shave and breakfast, Sheldon returned to his room to get dressed for the day. Leonard would be ready momentarily to drive them to work. Perhaps he might have some ideas.

* * *

"Leonard, I'm in a quandary here. I need to celebrate Hug an Australian Day and I have no idea how to do that without actually hugging an Australian. And you know how I feel about hugging!"

Leonard continued driving, a thoughtful look on his face. "Sorry, buddy, I don't think I can help you with that one. I'm sure either Dr. Williams or Dr. Anderson would allow you to hug them, if you explained the reason. They might think you're a bit weird, but everyone at the University already thinks that, so, no big deal. But short of having one of them give you William Shatner's DNA on an autographed airline ticket, I can't tell you how to tolerate hugging either of them."

"I know!" Sheldon groaned. "At times like this I sometimes wonder if my rules and habits don't cause me to miss out on some of the fun things in life!"

Leonard whipped his head around to stare at his friend. As his hands followed the movement of his head, he nearly ran the car off the road before he turned back to guide them back into a straight path.

"Sheldon! You know you have to be careful about saying things like that while I'm driving! I nearly ran us into a tree!"

"Oops. Bazinga!" Sheldon muttered. "I'm sorry, Leonard. I was only joking, of course. Without rules, life would be disorganized chaos, and where's the fun in that? I simply have to think harder to come up with a solution. In the meantime, let's put on our thinking caps and ponder the other holiday, Richter Scale Day."

Sheldon quickly mimicked the motions of donning an invisible helmet, and securing a chinstrap. He then cocked his head to one side, thought for a moment, then tilted his head to the other side.

"I still can't think of anything, Leonard!" he complained, "April 26th is certainly turning into Sheldon's Conundrum Day!"

Leonard laughed, "Sheldon," he said, allowing a note of amusement in his tone, "I cannot believe you're having such a hard time with this one. It's obvious!"

"I don't understand, Leonard. If it was obvious, then why haven't I thought about it already?"

Leonard shook his head. "Maybe because when it comes to science, you can be awfully single-minded. If it's not related to physics, you just don't get it, do you?"

"Well of course not, Leonard," Sheldon replied in his usual pedantic tone, "Physics is the science of the entire universe, and therefore, by definition, includes all the other so-called sciences. Why should I give them any credence on their own when they fall under the all-encompassing umbrella of my own field. As a fellow physicist, even an experimental physicist, this should be easy enough for you to understand!"

"I understand that's your opinion, Sheldon, however insulting it may be to every scientist in every other field." Leonard turned into the University parking garage and headed for his assigned spot. "But what you are overlooking is that right here at CalTech, in the Geology department – one of those sciences you're too egotistical to acknowledge – is the home of the Southern California Earthquake Data Center and a major Seismological Laboratory."

"Oh!" Sheldon grinned, "You're right! I hadn't thought about that!"

As the two gathered their belongings and exited the car, Leonard elaborated. "I bet if you speak with them nicely – and don't lord your superior knowledge and the superiority of physics over them – they might just be willing to let you watch some of the seismographs. I bet they might even let you go visit one of the monitoring stations."

Leonard jabbed the elevator button and crossed his arms over his chest, satisfied to have bested his friend. "I believe that would qualify as a good way to celebrate the Richter Scale, don't you?"

As the elevator doors opened, Sheldon stepped inside and waited for Leonard to follow. "You may be right, Leonard. Thank you! That would, indeed be an excellent celebration of the Richter Scale. I'll have Alex call someone in the Geology Department as soon as she gets in this morning and arrange a visit."

As they walked down the halls to their respective offices, Sheldon's face morphed from excited anticipation into dismay. "That still leaves me with the Australian problem."

As Leonard unlocked the door to his office, he turned back to the taller man. "Why don't you call Penny and ask her about it? Hugging's really more her area, you know."

* * *

Sheldon spent an hour that morning touring the SCEDC and watching the seismographs record mild tremors and tectonic movements all over the earth. During their lunch break, he and Leonard along with Raj and Howard all went to one of the monitoring stations in Pasadena with a Geology graduate student, who explained the array of stations that dotted Southern California and how the readings helped the department monitor for potential earthquakes. It was a fun and informative visit and Sheldon thanked the young woman for her help.

After lunch, he phoned Penny and explained his other holiday problem.

"Hmmm. Hug an Australian Day, huh? Do you ever wonder who comes up with these crazy holidays, Sheldon?"

"Well, Penny. Sometimes the website tells me. But mostly I have no idea. Although I suppose this one might have been invented by a lonely Australian craving physical comfort."

"Huh," came Penny's voice over the phone line. "Sort of like an Australian, Amy, I guess."

Sheldon backed up to look quizzically at his cellphone. He really could not follow Penny's thought processes ninety percent of the time. What on earth did she think Amy had to do with hugging Australians? He decided to let the comment pass. He didn't have time for a long-winded Penny explanation.

"So, do you have any ideas, Penny? Leonard seemed to think you might be able to help."

"Actually, Sheldon, I think I do. I'm off tonight, so I'll come by the university this evening and pick you up. Leonard can come along, too, if he wants to."

"Very well, Penny. I hope your idea works out. If I wait too long, Hug an Australian Day will be over and I will have missed it."

Sheldon hung up the phone and returned to his white board. The day's events had seriously cut into his work time and he needed to catch up.

* * *

Amazingly, Penny arrived at the university and was waiting for the guys in the public parking lot just at 5 pm. Leonard opted to join them, so they all piled into Penny's car. She promised to swing back by after their excursion so that Leonard could retrieve his car.

It being evening rush hour, their drive was slow, but it wasn't long before Sheldon realized where they were headed.

"The Zoo! Penny, you know I love the zoo, but how do you expect me to hug an Australian at the zoo?"

"Sheldon," Penny said, "I just thought we'd stop here to get your pretzel. They have really good ones here and from what you've said, you still haven't celebrated National Pretzel Day. Plus, I came to get you before dinner and I'm starving. Once we've gotten those pretzels, I'll take you to where you can hug an Australian.

Sheldon acquiesced. In his worry about addressing the two difficult holidays, he completely forgot about the easy one. Penny was certainly a good friend to remember for him. He would have to think of a way to thank her. Perhaps their pretzels could be his treat.

Penny guided the car around the long Zoo Drive and into the parking lot. Since it was nearly dinner time on a Friday afternoon, the lot was not as packed as it usually was on weekends. They found a spot very near the main entrance. Sheldon pulled out his wallet and showed his membership pass while the others purchased tickets. Once inside the gates, he made a beeline for the Churro Factory, with Leonard and Penny nearly running to keep up.

"Penny," Leonard said under his breath, "are you sure this is such a good idea? You know how he gets when he's all hopped up on sweets, and he's bound to get more than just a pretzel. It'll ruin his dinner and then I'll be dealing with hyperactive-Sheldon all night. And need I remind you tonight is vintage game night? I'll never be able to get him to bed on time!"

"Don't worry," Penny whispered back, "I have a secret weapon that will keep Sheldon under control."

"Well, if you're wrong, it's all on you this time. I'm not cleaning churro out of your car again if he throws up!"

As they approached the small snack stand just outside the zebra enclosure, Leonard spotted Penny's 'secret weapon', briskly waving at them and holding a large bag from the zoo gift shop. Sheldon stopped dead in his tracks.

"Amy! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you here to the zoo?"

Amy walked over to join the threesome and nodded a greeting to Leonard and Penny.

"As you know, Sheldon, I've been monitoring that website and it occurred to me that Hug an Australian Day might present particular challenges to you. Penny, Leonard and I chatted about it yesterday and, together, we came up with a resolution."

The four walked up to the Churro stand and while Leonard and Penny perused the menu, Amy continued her story.

"Of course, if you came up with your own solution, we would have abandoned our plan. But when you called Penny this afternoon, it was pre-arranged that she would 'come up with an idea'. And so here we all are."

Sheldon turned around to stare at each of his friends. "You all planned this _**yesterday**_? And Leonard – this morning you didn't say a word?"

Leonard grinned and shook his head.

"Well! I must say." Sheldon was nearly gushing, "I still have to hug an Australian, but right now I feel as if I want to hug all of you!"

Leonard stepped back while Penny smiled, "Oh, Sheldon! That's so sweet!"

Amy stepped closer until she was nearly standing on Sheldon's toes.

"Bazinga!" Sheldon shouted, "You all _**know**_ I don't hug." Sheldon grinned at the three of them and moved towards the food counter, putting some distance between himself and his girlfriend. "But thank you so much for coming up with a solution. I can't wait to see what it is!"

Amy tried and failed to hide her disappointment. She walked up closer to Sheldon and reached into her bag.

"It's right here, Sheldon," she said as she pulled out a very large stuffed Koala Bear doll. "You see," she said, turning the bear upside down and displaying the small label sewn into the bear's derriere, "it's made in Australia. So all you have to do is hug the bear and you'll be hugging an Australian!"

"Oh, my!" Sheldon was nearly speechless as he reached his hands out for the toy. "He's marvelous, Amy!"

Sheldon wrapped his arms snuggly around the plush bear and nearly hugged the stuffing out of it.

"There! I've done it! I've hugged an Australian."

Sheldon's broad grin was infectious. As he continued to hug and squeeze the bear, Amy couldn't help but feel a little jealous. She wondered if she could invent Hug a Neurobiologist Day and have that posted on the dratted website!

* * *

FF_1807614_ 5/4/2013


	4. The Astronomical Anomaly

**Author's Note: Chapter 4 – April 28****th****. This is quickly turning into a Shamy story. What can I say, I'm a big Shamy shipper, and it's hard for me not to drift in that direction. That, and some of the holidays just take me there. This one may be crossing into a slightly OOC realm - Shamy 2.0. But I hope the characters are still believable.  
**

**Inspired by **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. Go read it. **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**. Don't own the holidays. All of the holidays featured here are found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**The Astronomical Anomaly**

"Hello, Amy!" Sheldon greeted his girlfriend as he lowered his tall, slim body into the passenger seat of her car. "I hope you are looking forward to our day as much as I am."

Amy smiled at Sheldon. His enthusiasm was always infectious. How could a person witness that childlike excitement and zeal and not have at least some of it rub off on them? It was one of the many things Amy loved about Sheldon.

The truth was they did not really share that many interests when they met, but Amy realized, both of their horizons were expanded by the relationship. Their date today exemplified that growth.

Like any serious scientist, in school Amy had studied a broad spectrum of the sciences, while concentrating on Biology and Neurobiology. She had taken Physics, of course, but it never captured her interest in the past. Thanks to Sheldon, she now appreciated the wonder of the physical universe and found herself wanting to learn more. To that end, the pair planned to attend a book signing and lecture this afternoon by a well-known elder statesman of the Physics world who had been a friend of Richard Feynman. Sheldon decried the man's attempts to "dumb-down" Physics for the common man, but he held a grudging respect for the man's encompassing knowledge of many aspects of the field.

After the lecture, the two planned to spend some time browsing in the bookstore where the lecture was being held, then conclude the afternoon with a walk in the park before meeting the rest of the group at Sheldon's apartment for dinner and what Sheldon promised was a "fun holiday surprise".

It amused Amy that Sheldon was still pursuing the holidays. She wondered if he realized that his odd obsession was having the curious side-effect of luring Sheldon outside of his rigidly scheduled life. The day before, Sheldon insisted that Amy accompany him to celebrate Prime Rib Day. Since none of Sheldon's usual restaurants offered Prime Rib, he'd been forced to select a new restaurant. Amy wondered if he realized that the evening had, effectively, served as an additional Date Night. Not only had they enjoyed a pleasant meal in a beautiful restaurant that featured soft music and romantic lighting, but afterwards, they took a stroll down Colorado Boulevard, simply enjoying the early evening. Amy tried to explain the concept of window shopping to Sheldon, but couldn't seem to get him past the idea that none of the stores they passed were actually selling windows. It didn't matter, though; she convinced him that holding hands while window shopping was appropriate, and so the evening was a great success in her mind.

They ended the date sharing a Baby Ruth candy bar to celebrate Babe Ruth day. Sheldon explained that the official story of the candy bar is that it is named, not for Babe Ruth the baseball legend, but in fact for Baby Ruth Cleveland, the daughter of President Grover Cleveland. However, he further explained that the unfortunate Ms. Cleveland died of diphtheria many years before the candy was introduced, while its reintroduction, under the name Baby Ruth and with a new formula featuring caramel and peanuts, coincided with the heyday of Ruth's baseball career, making the correlation between candy bar and slugger more plausible. Sheldon also pointed out that his explanation of all this served to cover Tell A Story day.

Amy wondered if Sheldon assumed the lecture they were attending would include some discussion of the related study of Astronomy, to cover International Astronomy Day, or if he had something else in mind for that. She was also curious how he planned to celebrate the day's other two holidays. But, as they were effectively going to spend the entire day together, she was confident she would find out.

* * *

The lecture was as interesting as Amy knew it would be. Having Sheldon beside her added to the experience, as he was able to augment some of the professor's points beyond what the man felt suitable for a general audience. And the author's anecdotes about the great Richard Feynman were not only fresh and funny, but also insightful and enlightening.

After the lecture the two wandered the displays and cases in the store. They discussed the decline of brick and mortar bookstores and agreed they both missed getting lost in the rows upon rows of books. Sheldon suggested they amend their agreement to add a monthly 'Bookstore Date', and Amy readily agreed. As she got in line to get the author's signature on a book she purchased, Sheldon wandered off on his own. When they exited the store sometime later, Amy noticed he was also carrying a bag with the store's logo and asked if he wanted to drop their parcels in the car before proceeding to Pasadena Central Park.

"Oh, no, Amy." Sheldon answered, clutching the bag to his chest. "I've got a book here that is vital to the next holiday we'll be celebrating today!"

Amy, of course, knew which holidays were to be celebrated. Given that the lecture had made no mention of Astronomy, it could be an Astronomy book, or possibly something with which to celebrate Great Poetry Reading Day. And then there was…? Oh, surely Sheldon hadn't found anything in the bookstore that would help him with Kiss Your Mate Day?

After entering the park, they strolled along the broad walkway. Amy was looking around to find a shaded seating area where they could get out of the strong April sunshine. Both of them were wearing sunscreen, of course, but one couldn't be too careful about melanoma. Spotting a promising bench under the shade of a cluster of deciduous trees, she gestured to Sheldon who nodded and made a beeline for the prime location.

As the two sat comfortably together, Sheldon withdrew the book from the bag. Amy saw that it was a large format paperback edition of _Edgar Allan Poe's Complete Poetical Works_.

"Ah! I assume you've planned a poetry reading for us." Amy commented, gesturing at the book. Sheldon nodded.

Opening his book, Sheldon suddenly lifted it to his face and inhaled deeply.

"Ah!" he sighed, "Eau de new book! There's no other perfume quite like it." He turned excitedly to Amy, proffering the crisp pages. "Would you like a sniff?"

Amy shook her head. She understood and agreed that new books had a pleasant odor all their own, but she would feel silly sniffing a book on a public park bench. "Let's just pick a poem to read," she suggested.

"Ok." Sheldon said excitedly, as he began to run a finger down the table of contents. "Oooh! We could read _The Raven_. That's a classic, incorporating not only a melodic meter - trochaic octameter – but also a dramatically Gothic spirit reminiscent of some of Poe's great short stories. It's one of my favorites!"

Amy nodded, "It's also quite romantic, Sheldon. Like _Annabelle Lee_, the narrator in _The Raven_ is mourning the loss of a woman – the lost Lenore in this case. It expresses his bleak despair over her and is very moving."

Sheldon turned to Amy, his expression clearly showing annoyance. "Everything to you is romance, romance, romance! I honestly wonder, sometimes, Amy Farrah Fowler, how you ever became a scientist with all these romantic notions of yours. Do you women never think of anything else?" Sheldon shook his head, returning to the Table of Contents in his book. "Raging bundles of hormones, the lot of you!" he exclaimed.

"Sheldon!" Amy protested, "poetry is inherently romantic. So much of poetry, like music, celebrates romantic love. You can't think of poetry without thinking of love."

Sheldon looked up again. "Oh, I strongly disagree. What about epic poems like _Beowulf_ and _The Charge of the Light Brigade_. There's not a speck of romance in either of those. Not a speck!"

"Point taken." Amy acquiesced, "but you still can't deny that _The Raven_ includes a romantic element, even if a somewhat morbid one, as the assumption is that the man's love interest, Lenore, is dead."

Sheldon huffed in exasperation. "Very well, so stipulated, but I'm not going to allow you to ruin my enjoyment of Great Poetry Reading Day with a lot of romantic claptrap. There will be no silly hand-holding or other such fripperies while we read this."

"All right, Sheldon. Let's just read the darn thing!"

They took turns, reading alternate stanzas of the poem. Each time Sheldon intoned the raven's refrain of "Nevermore", it sent chills down her spine. When they finished, the two sat silently for a few moments, allowing the beauty of the poem to sink in as they enjoyed the breezes that rustled the leaves, lending their own mysterious note in the waning sunlight of approaching evening.

After a while, Amy felt Sheldon grasp her hand and squeeze it tightly, before releasing it just as suddenly. Looking up at him, she noticed an odd look of pain in his eyes as he stared down at her.

"Amy," he whispered, "I never understood the man's feelings of loss before."

With that, he rose suddenly, placed the book carefully back in the bag and began walking briskly back towards the shopping district where they had left the car. Amy quickly gathered her own things and ran to catch up.

* * *

Although the ride back to the apartment was quietly contemplative, by the time Sheldon unlocked the door to 4A, he was back to his normal, buoyant self. Amy knew better than to question Sheldon about his earlier statement. His occasional tender moments were becoming more frequent, and she was happy about that, but she also knew that they still embarrassed him acutely and he would deny them if pressed. It was better to enjoy the memories and let them be.

A short time later, Raj arrived with Howard and Bernadette, each struggling to carry large equipment cases into the room.

"Oh, good!" Sheldon exclaimed, "You brought the telescope." He began to set plates and utensils on the small kitchen bar while Amy took a large casserole dish out of the oven and placed it next to the bowl of tossed salad set out with an array of bottled salad dressings. "We'll have dinner then you can set that thing up on the roof so we can look at the stars and celebrate International Astronomy Day! Leonard and Penny will join us later."

Sheldon turned and noticed that the other three were sprawled in their usual places, breathing heavily.

"Well come on, people! The sooner we finish eating the sooner we can get up there and Raj, our resident Astrophysicist, can tell us all about the wonders of the astral universe!"

He quickly dished out casserole and salad for himself, then ran to sit in his spot and began shoveling the food into his mouth. Watching him, Amy shook her head and began making up dishes for each of the guests, bringing them over to the exhausted trio before making up her own plate and sitting next to Sheldon. By the time she sat down, he was nearly finished and anxious to get up to the roof.

"Slow down, Sheldon," Amy urged, "Raj, Howard and Bernadette are exhausted from carrying all this heavy equipment up four flights of stairs. They've barely started eating. Let them relax and finish their food. The stars aren't going anywhere."

Dejected, Sheldon took his plate back into the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of water before returning to slump in his seat. For the next thirty minutes, he glared at each of the others in turn. As each person finished their meal, Sheldon quickly grabbed their dishes and ran to put them in the kitchen sink to soak, effectively barring anyone from second helpings. Once the last of them, Raj, finished his meal, Sheldon urged them all out the door, instructing them to pick up the cases they left beside the door. Carrying nothing, he followed the bedraggled group, and shouted for Amy to put away the leftovers then join them.

Amy sighed. It would serve him right if she simply left the food on the counter, or better yet, up-ended the casserole dish on his immaculate bed. But that would be a waste of good food, and her mother's frugal upbringing simply wouldn't allow that. She covered the casserole carefully and transferred the remaining salad into a tightly lidded container, placing both in the refrigerator before checking that all the used dishes were soaking in the sink. Then she proceeded out the door and up to the roof.

* * *

By the time she arrived, Raj was adjusting the focus on the now-assembled telescope. Howard was connecting the telescope to a monitor that would allow all of them to see the astronomical wonders at the same time. She noticed that three benches were arranged in a tight semi-circle around the monitor. Bernadette was sitting on the one on the right, while Sheldon was sitting on the center one, fidgeting impatiently. She sat down next to him just as a colorful blob appeared on the screen. Howard typed a few more instructions then sat down next to Bernadette, grasping her hand and holding it in his lap. Raj continued to adjust knobs on the viewfinder and the image on the monitor grew and shrank, but refused to come into focus.

Howard leaned over to look past Bernadette. "So Sheldon," he teased, "I get that you've been celebrating all these holidays, and you've obviously got Astronomy Day covered, but what are you going to do about Kiss Your Mate Day? Or did you maybe already do something about that?" Howard made suggestive kissing noises then turned to kiss his wife as Sheldon watched, horror crossing his face. When Howard and Bernadette finished, Bernie turned to face the other couple and asked, "Yeah, Sheldon, are you gonna kiss her, or what?"

Just at that moment, Leonard and Penny came through the door. Leonard reached behind him and flipped a switch to douse the roof lights. In the darkness, Sheldon sidled to the very edge of the bench, leaving about two feet of empty space between himself and his girlfriend. Amy squirmed uncomfortably. It was one thing for her to tease and cajole Sheldon into displays of affection when they were alone. It was quite another for their friends to barrage him like this. And kissing was a milestone Sheldon had yet to reach.

Unaware of the tension in the group, Leonard and Penny took their seats on the third bench as Raj continued to work on the focus. When the image finally coalesced, a collective ahhh rose from the group. The Rosette Nebula was displayed brilliantly on the screen.

"Isn't this romantic," said Howard, wrapping an arm around his wife, "Leonard, you know today is Kiss Your Mate Day," he continued, "You might want to consider what you should do about that. Bernie and I have already celebrated."

Leonard seemed surprised, but happily went along with Howard's suggestion. Wrapping an arm around Penny, he drew her close and delivered a sweet kiss on her lips. Penny leaned over and addressed the couple on the middle bench. "C'mon, Sheldon. You're the big holiday guy these days. Go on and Kiss Your Mate."

Penny began to clap and the others took up the chant, "Kiss Your Mate! Kiss Your Mate!"

Raj shuffled his feet on the floor, looking uncomfortable since he was the solo member of the group as Lucy still wasn't able to join in with his friends.

The chanting and clapping continued, "Kiss Your Mate! Kiss Your Mate!" when suddenly Sheldon leaned over, grasped Leonard around the shoulders and, pulling him closer, kissed him smartly on the top of his head.

"There!" Sheldon shouted, "Mate is another term for GOOD FRIEND," he continued, "I've kissed my mate."

Releasing Leonard, Sheldon sat bolt upright, his hands on his knees, staring straight at the monitor.

Amy let out a cry, jumped to her feet and ran to the door. Throwing it open, she dashed down the stairs, letting the door slam behind her.

Silence descended on the group. Raj cleared his throat and began to explain the location of the object currently projected on the monitor.

"Uh-oh," Penny whispered to Leonard, "I think maybe things went a bit too far there."

Leonard turned to her, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice, "Ya think?" Turning back to Sheldon, he said, "Look, buddy. I'm sorry if we hurt Amy's feelings. Or yours, for that matter. Maybe you should go after her?"

Sheldon turned to his friend, a sickened look on his face. "I fail to see how it is my responsibility to fix this with Amy. You all started the teasing. I cannot apologize for you."

Leonard heaved a sigh, "You're right, Sheldon. It's our fault and we shouldn't have done that. But trust me, right now Amy doesn't want to see any of us. But you… you can comfort her, make her feel better. We'll all apologize to her later. Right now you need to go find her."

Sheldon looked from Leonard to Penny, who was nodding in agreement. He nodded his head and rose turning towards the door.

"Sheldon," Bernie said and Sheldon paused in the open door, but didn't turn to face her. "We're sorry, Sheldon. Really we are."

Sheldon turned on the Wolowitz couple, barely controlled fury on his face. "Three strikes, BOTH of you. And there will be no taking a class to get out of them this time!"

With that, he went out the door and ran down the stairs.

* * *

Sheldon stopped at the fourth floor, and quickly checked each room in his apartment. Amy wasn't there. He didn't think she would go into Penny's apartment, so he continued down the stairs and out of the building, praying to a God he didn't think existed that Amy's car would still be in the parking lot. He shuddered to think what might happen if she tried to drive home while she was so upset.

As he turned the corner to the well-lit lot, he quickly scanned the cars, breathing a great sigh of relief upon seeing hers still sitting where they'd parked it earlier that day. It had been such a terrific day. He would never forgive his so-called friends for their teasing. It was one thing if they teased him. He'd grown up with much more accomplished bullies than that bunch. He could take anything they wanted to dish out. But he would not tolerate anyone causing his woman pain.

He walked toward the car, needing to be sure Amy wasn't sitting inside, preparing to drive off. As he got closer, he saw something which, in the shadows cast by the street lamps, resembled a large bundle of rags. When he moved closer, the bundle of rags looked up, dashing the tears from her eyes.

"Sheldon?" she sniffed.

Sheldon walked over and crouched down beside Amy. Something in his brain told him he should wrap his arms around her, stroke her gently and repeat some soothing phrases to her. It saddened him to realize that he just wasn't there yet. He knew if this were Penny and he were Leonard, he would be sitting beside her, holding her tightly and stroking her hair as she sobbed on his shoulder.

But the ground was filthy. He simply couldn't make himself sit on it. From his crouching position, he couldn't really put his arms around her, even if he could muster up the courage to do so. Sheldon wracked his brain to come up with some form of comfort that he could provide. He recalled the afternoon in the park, sitting on the bench and suddenly understanding what the poem's narrator felt at the loss of the woman he loved. Slowly, he reached a hand out and placed it lightly on Amy's shoulder. Amy turned to stare at it, and followed its path as Sheldon slowly moved his hand down along Amy's arm until he was clasping her hand in his.

"Amy?" he asked, his voice croaking with emotion, "I'm sorry."

Amy turned her face up to his and his heart lurched to see the tears streaking down her cheeks.

"What do you have to be sorry about, Sheldon?"

Sheldon closed his eyes. Looking at Amy like this was painful. "I'm sorry that my… friends… treated you like this. It's unforgivable."

He opened his eyes and forced himself to look at the woman slumped on the ground, leaning against her car door.

"No, Sheldon. It hurts, and it may take a while. But it's forgivable. Those same friends have done amazingly nice things for both of us. And as sad as I am right now, I know they weren't doing it to be mean or hurtful. In fact, I think they were actually trying to help."

"Help?" Sheldon nearly sat down in his shock, remembering where he was just in time. "How was that supposed to help?"

"Sheldon," Amy lightly squeezed his hand, "I can count three times in our relationship that you have willingly taken my hand. Two of those times have happened today. Seen from the point of view of the average young American, our relationship is devoid of any physical contact and therefore, in their minds, devoid of any intimacy or closeness."

"Do you feel that way, Amy?" Sheldon wasn't completely oblivious to Amy's desire for more physical intimacy, but he thought she was comfortable with the intellectual intimacy that he found infinitely more satisfying.

"No!" Amy squeezed his hand again, "No, Sheldon. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want our relationship to have a more physical element, but I believe the emotional and mental intimacy we share is much more important." She squinted, trying to focus on his eyes in the dim light, "The physical will come in its own time, Sheldon. I know that. But our friends don't understand it. So they were trying to… for want of a better word… bully you into adding another physical element to our relationship. They were doing that to make me happy, Sheldon. And even though it backfired, knowing that their intentions were good, I can't stay mad at them for long."

"So, you're saying we should just forgive them and act like this never happened?"

Amy shook her head. Realizing Sheldon's knees were suffering from his continued squatting position, she rose, still holding his hand. He rose with her, and the couple stood in the lamplight, hands clasped.

"No, Sheldon. We should forgive them, but I think we also need to talk with them and explain that this is OUR relationship, and we have to work on it ourselves and we have to move at our own pace. I think they probably know that, but given what's happened we need to make it clear that their interference, while well-intentioned, just makes things that much more difficult for us."

Sheldon nodded, "All right, Amy. But maybe we should talk to them some other time. Right now, I think you need to come back upstairs with me. You're still upset, and you need to calm down before you drive home."

"I'm fine, Sheldon." Amy said, releasing his hand to rummage in her bag for her keys.

Sheldon reached over and reclaimed her hand. "No you're not, Amy Farrah Fowler, and I won't have you driving and possibly being hurt in an accident because you're emotionally wrought. I'm your man and you're my woman and you're coming back inside with me until I'm sure you're ok to drive yourself home."

Amy's eyes widened at the sudden appearance of a take charge Sheldon she'd never seen before. The feminist in her felt she should protest at being called 'his woman', but then he'd started by calling himself 'her man', so she supposed it was ok. And truthfully, she did still feel a bit shaky. Besides which, he was still holding her hand and making no move to terminate the contact.

"All right, Sheldon," she answered, "Let's go inside. But if our friends have gone back to the apartment, I really don't want to face them right now."

Sheldon nodded and led Amy back to the front door and inside the building. "It's ok, Amy. If they're in the apartment, we'll think of something."

As it happened, when they reached the fourth floor, they could hear the muffled voices of the group inside. Sheldon thought a moment then motioned for Amy to continue up the stairs. If the group was in the apartment, then the roof was likely empty.

* * *

When they arrived on the roof, Sheldon noticed that the equipment was still set up, the beautiful Rosette Nebula still displayed on the monitor. He led Amy to one of the benches and sat down with her, immediately taking her hand in his. After a few moments, Sheldon got up and turned off the monitor. When he returned to sit next to Amy, he raised his arm and awkwardly moved it behind her, finally setting his hand on her shoulder, holding his arm bent awkwardly behind her so that there was no touching except for his hand.

"It's still Astronomy Day, Amy. I thought we could just enjoy the stars in the sky." Pointing upwards into the night sky, he began to name the various constellations. "There's Taurus, the bull, just to the north west of Orion. And you can see Gemini, the twins just to the east." As he spoke, Sheldon relaxed his arm until he was holding Amy close. He barely noticed when she leaned her head down on his shoulder. "To the North, you can see Queen Cassiopeia, reclining on her couch. Next to her is Perseus, who fell in love with Cassiopeia's daughter, Andromeda and slew the Gorgon to save her."

Amy smiled, relaxing as Sheldon continued to name every constellation in the sky, telling her some of the stories surrounding their mythological origins. When he finished, the pair simply sat quietly.

Sheldon realized that Amy was no longer shaking. Her breathing was normal, and he thought perhaps she was settled enough to safely drive home. Glancing at his watch, he noticed that it was nearing midnight. As the next day was Monday, he realized it was important that they call an end to the night. As it was, they would likely both be dragging at work the following day.

"Amy," he said, patting her shoulder lightly, "It's eleven thirty. If you're feeling up to it, you should probably be going."

Amy lifted her head reluctantly. It had been so pleasant just sitting there, with Sheldon's arm around her. For all their methods had been hurtful, she realized her friends had accomplished quite a bit. But she harbored no delusions about her boyfriend. Most likely Sheldon would be back to his normal self tomorrow and it would be weeks or months before he touched her like this again. She sighed.

"I'm feeling much better, Sheldon. I'm sure I'll be fine to drive home." She looked up at him. "Thank you. You're a really great boyfriend, you know?"

"Well of course I am, Amy," he answered with a broad grin, "I do everything well. You know that."

Amy laughed and stood up, getting her bag off the bench beside her. "Will you walk me downstairs to the car, Sheldon?" she asked, wanting the magic of these moments to last as long as possible.

"If you like," Sheldon responded standing and following her to the door. Reaching in front of Amy, he grasped the door handle and opened the door for her, the Texan gentlemen in him making another appearance. "Amy, wait," he said, just as she was about to step into the stairwell.

Amy turned to see what he wanted.

"Amy," Sheldon began, "it's eleven-thirty-five."

Amy looked confused. "Ok, Sheldon. It's five minutes later than the last time you told me. What about it?"

Sheldon looked nervous. His right arm was extended above Amy's head, holding the door open. Amy noticed the arm was shaking just slightly.

"Amy," he continued, "It's still Kiss Your Mate Day."

"Ye…yes," she said, not sure if she should believe where she thought this might be going.

"Amy," Sheldon said, "I don't think the holiday means for you to kiss a good friend who is your 'mate'."

"Nooooo." Amy agreed.

"I think you're supposed to kiss your life-mate, or soul-mate," Sheldon's voice was shaking, but he kept going, "don't you think so?"

"Yes, I think that is the intention." Amy said.

"Amy, are you my mate?" Sheldon asked.

Amy nodded slowly.

"Well, then." Sheldon leaned down, his arm stretching above the two of them to keep the door open. He gently pressed his lips to hers, waiting just a moment before straightening back up.

"Happy Kiss Your Mate Day, Amy."

* * *

FF_1807614_ 5/5/2013


	5. The Honesty Agreement

**Author's Note: Chapter 5 – April 30****th****. Sheldon and Amy celebrate honesty – and other things.**

**Many apologies for abandoning this for over a month! I've got a lot of days to catch up on, although to be honest, there's not much in the months of May or June that really inspire me. Nonetheless, I'll try to post about once a week or so when one of the holidays throws an idea into my head. **

**Inspired by **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. **

**DISCLAIMER: **_**The Big Bang Theory**_** is not mine. The holidays are not mine. All of the holidays featured here are found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**The Honesty Agreement**

Amy briskly rubbed a towel through her damp hair. Despite the unfortunate events of the prior weekend, she was looking forward to this evening. It wasn't surprising that, in celebration of Star Wars Day, Sheldon was gathering the group to watch one of the movies. The exact selection was yet to be determined, not that Amy really cared. The girls had put their collective feet down and insisted that only one of the movies be watched. None of them wanted an all-day Star Wars marathon. The boys, consequently, had argued for the last three days over which single movie they would all watch. The only consensus they had so far achieved was that they would _not_ be watching episode one.

She switched on her hair dryer and began blowing the heated air through her damp tresses. Amy thought about the effect of Sheldon's continuing compulsion to celebrate holidays. His efforts frequently required changes to his routines that he normally would reject. Amy considered for a moment the conundrum he must feel as one compulsion fought for dominance with the other. For a moment she envisioned a group of monkeys, wildly cavorting in Sheldon's brain. Each was wearing a nametag representing one of Sheldon's many, and sometimes conflicting hang-ups. They were literally the monkeys on his back, screaming and flinging their feces at each other as they tried to influence him to stay with his tried-and-true obsessions, or indulge the newest member of the troop. She laughed out loud at the absurd vision

To celebrate Shrimp Scampi Day, which fell on Monday, Sheldon insisted on ordering from an Italian restaurant instead of the usual Thai, explaining that exceptions for holidays were always acceptable. After all, he was accustomed to eating turkey on Thanksgiving, even though Thursday was pizza night.

On Tuesday, Hairstyle Appreciation Day, Sheldon showed up on Amy's doorstep after work sporting an odd spiked version of his normal style. He was quick to explain that spending the day looking like a Hollywood hippie would help him to better appreciate his normal hairdo. As he walked in the door, he announced that it was also National Honesty Day. He further explained that this was the key reason he endured the bus to get to Amy's that evening. Dropping his bag in a chair, he made his way over to his usual spot while Amy stepped into the kitchen to get a beverage for each of them.

She handed him his chilly glass with a small napkin to protect her table, then walked around to her usual spot.

"Amy," he began, after taking a sip from his YooHoo and carefully setting it down. "As today is Honesty Day, it seems appropriate that we discuss the events of last Sunday in an open and honest manner."

"I see." Amy replied, sinking down slowly to sit on the opposite end of her couch. This was it, then. Things had gone too far too fast for the lanky physicist and he was using the guise of the holiday to inform her of a decision to terminate their relationship. He would tell her that, upon consideration, he realized that his impulsive request that she be his girlfriend was ill-advised as he harbored no feelings for her beyond that of simple friendship. He would propose that they return their relationship status to girl-slash-friend-slash-boy-slash-friend. Amy squared her shoulders and steeled herself. She'd heard the entire speech in her head already. It wouldn't hurt too much to hear it spoken aloud. Not too much.

"Amy," Sheldon began again, "When I initially asked you…to be my girlfriend…it was my honest intention to continue our relationship very much as it was. I expected we would continue to enjoy a close affinity of intellect, while I would not have to endure any concern that you might spend time with any other man. I had no expectation that there would be any physical or so-called _romantic_ aspects to our association. I believe all of this was stipulated clearly in the Relationship Agreement."

"It was," responded Amy. And she had to concede that the Agreement was quite clear on those points. The most romantic clause in the entire agreement was the one that assured her of one Date Night per month. A date that would entail no kissing or touching or physical intimacy whatsoever. There would be no sweet declarations of love murmured in her ear. The one aspect of their relationship to which Amy could attribute a romantic meaning was those occasions when they would gaze passionately into each other eyes. Penny once told her that watching the two of them communicate in that way was like watching eye-porn. In those exchanges she felt just how much Sheldon cared for her. She was too much of a pragmatist to call it love. Like Sheldon, she was unsure if love existed beyond the surge of certain hormones that impressed the pleasure centers of the brain. Still, if love did exist, she was fairly certain that Sheldon loved her. But she was just as certain that he was too scared witless to come to terms with it and some of the messier things it entailed.

"Recent events, however, have made me realize that an honest review of our Agreement is in order." Sheldon droned on and Amy began to wish he would just get it over with. Rather like ripping off a bandage. It was the anticipation of the pain that hurt the most. After a short time, Sheldon pulled a neatly bound booklet out of his bag. Amy recognized the Agreement, although it was noticeably thicker than she remembered. She supposed Sheldon updated his copy with all the addenda and codicils. It didn't matter. He would be turning to the last page, and signing the _Notification of Agreement Termination_. After that, the Relationship Agreement, with all its sections, paragraphs and clauses, would just be so much recyclable paper.

"Section 17, Article 1" Sheldon continued. "The boyfriend herewith declares his express intention to increase his tolerance for physical touching as it pertains to affectionate or amorous encounters with the girlfriend. This declaration shall not constitute a guarantee, either express or implied, of specific physical intimacies; however, such intimacies may include kissing, fondling and other activities up to and including coitus pending the agreement of both parties."

Amy's ears perked up on two words: kissing and coitus. She couldn't possibly be hearing right! Was Sheldon actually putting in writing his intention to kiss her again? Was he really thinking of working his way up to possibly having sex?

"The girlfriend and boyfriend shall convene a meeting not less than twice each month, at times which shall be agreed upon by both parties, to be designated 'Make-Out Sessions'. Make-Out Sessions shall be conducted only when the parties are reasonably assured of privacy at either the girlfriend's or the boyfriend's home, or while traveling together and residing in suitable temporary accommodations at hotels or inns."

Oh good Lord, he was allowing for trips together. Romantic weekends at cute little Bed and Breakfast inns in the Wine Country. Or maybe they could go back up the coast to Big Sur where they would find a cozy boutique hotel overlooking the ocean and spend languorous days cuddled together in a huge, antique four-poster bed piled high with plush pillows and down comforters.

"Make-Out Sessions will begin with a review of the activities of the prior session, with presentations by both parties of their preferences or objections to the details of any of the specific activities. Each party may then propose an agenda of activities in which to engage, subject to the approval of both parties. A Make-Out Session may be postponed, rescheduled or cancelled by either party by submitting such intent in writing (text message or e-mail) not less than six hours before. In the event one party postpones or cancels sessions three or more times in a row, the other party will have the right to demand appropriate proof of hardship to support the need for cancellation."

Sheldon flipped the page and set the booklet on the table, holding it open to the signature page, his finger indicating where Amy should sign, while he held out a pen for her with the other hand.

Amy glanced down at the page. There was Sheldon's bold signature. He'd not only proposed this, he'd actually committed to it. It was in writing and he was honor-bound to live up to his end.

Ignoring the pen, Amy launched herself at her boyfriend, throwing her arms around him and pressing her lips to his. Sheldon held her stiffly for a moment, then she felt him relax, his warm lips softening and moving slightly to caress her own. After a moment, though, he pulled away.

"Amy! Until you sign, this is a violation of the Relationship Agreement currently in force and you know it!"

Amy sat back and stared at her boyfriend for a moment. He could be truly exasperating at times! She grabbed the pen that had flown out of Sheldon's hand and skittered across the table. Swiftly, she scrawled a nearly illegible signature across the page. Then she launched herself again. This time Sheldon was ready for her and stopped her in mid-flight.

"Now, Amy. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but we have yet to discuss the schedule for Make-Out Sessions."

Amy thought she could detect the hint of a grin on her boyfriend's face. She didn't for a moment believe he wasn't completely serious about the Agreement, but that ghost of a smile told her that he was perhaps nearly as impatient as she to put the newest clause into action.

"All right," Amy sat back a moment. She noticed that Sheldon's hands, which he'd gripped her arms with to stop her flinging herself at him a second time, had slipped down and were now lightly gripping hers, one thumb gently stroking the pulse-point on her wrist. "I propose that we hold sessions on the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of every month, or the 3rd and 5th Tuesday in months with five Tuesdays."

The grin widened. "You don't fool me, vixen. Today is the fifth Tuesday in April. You're just angling to start our first session right now." He laughed his peculiar breathy laugh and released one of her hands to reach over and grab his Yoo Hoo. "Very well, but I'll need to moisten my lips before we begin. And we need to discuss the agenda. Do you have any proposals?"

Amy smiled back at him. "Yes, Sheldon. I propose we kiss each other until our eyes bug out of our heads! Later, if there's time, I can lead you down a primrose path to second base."

Amy gazed at Sheldon while he appeared to ponder her proposal.

"Counter-proposal," he responded, his voice cool and unnervingly calm. "We… kiss." He paused a moment, evidence of a slight inner struggle flashing across his features. "Within the first… fifteen minutes… I will attempt to initiate an open-mouth kiss, provided you agree that we call a short recess before we begin so that we can brush our teeth and thoroughly rinse using an antiseptic mouthwash. Additionally, the first session shall terminate promptly at seven o'clock, so we can proceed to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It's hamburger night and I've been looking forward to it all day."

Amy thought for a moment. She knew she could not expect Sheldon to advance at the speed of a rocket ship. He was more like a horse-and-buggy, but it didn't matter, because even a horse-and-buggy eventually gets where it's going.

"Agreed." She nodded her head once, firmly. Then she stood, his hand still holding hers. She tugged lightly and he stood up to follow. "I hear a toothbrush calling my name…"

* * *

**Author's Note: **This one was going to be a totally different quasi-date-night centered around May 4th, which is Star Wars day. But I also wanted to follow-up a bit on the events of Astronomy Day in the last chapter. The follow-up kind of took over the whole thing. So we can just assume that Amy and Sheldon had a nice evening enjoying one of the Star Wars movies with their friends.

Up next I may do something with Lost Sock Memorial Day and of course, Sheldon cannot pass up celebrating National Train Day, both of which fall on May 9th

FF_1807614_ 6/17/2013


	6. The Lost Sock Laudation

**Author's Note: Chapter 6 – May 6****th**** through 9th. The holiday thing is beginning to wear on a certain experimental physicist as the theoretical physicist remains bent on his mission.**

**Inspired by **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. **

**DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**. I'd be rich and could afford to celebrate all these holidays as well. They are all found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**The Lost Sock Laudation**

"It simply makes no sense, Leonard." Sheldon whined, continuing the argument he had been having with his roommate all morning. They were driving to the university and Sheldon was obsessing, yet again, over the various holidays that he would be celebrating in the coming week. "One should celebrate No Socks Day _**after**_ Lost Sock Memorial Day, not before. If one has lost one's sock, then it makes more sense to wear no socks after the loss, not before. By extension, therefore, logic dictates that one would also celebrate No Socks Day after Lost Sock Memorial Day – said celebration taking the form of actually wearing no socks, which one might do if one had lost a sock. But if one has not lost a sock, why would one go about with no socks? It's simply ludicrous."

"It's simply ludicrous to get so worked up over a bunch of nonsense holidays in the first place, Sheldon. You spent all day yesterday trying to determine which beverage you should celebrate Beverage Day with. Alternately, you were trying to figure out if you could simply drink _**all**_ of your favorite beverages, which, in combination with No Diet Day would no doubt have lead you to need National Toilet Appreciation Day. Although I seriously hope that one doesn't actually exist!"

"It doesn't," came the immediate reply.

Leonard glanced over to stare at his roommate, quickly bringing his eyes back to the road.

"I've read through the entire list, Leonard." Sheldon explained. "I've got it catalogued in my memory so I can ensure that I'm prepared for whatever holidays are coming up. Although I do admit, it's sometimes a challenge. I didn't know what to do about National Tourist Appreciation Day yesterday until Amy suggested we set up a free lemonade stand on the beach, which served to also resolve my Beverage Day dilemma. For National Tourism Day, by contrast, I will contrive to be a tourist myself. I'm a bit torn, though, between visiting Disneyland again or the Queen Mary. However, considering Amy's rather odd conduct – to say nothing of her attire - upon returning from her most recent trip to Disneyland, I'm inclined to lean towards the Queen Mary tour."

Leonard shook his head and began silently reciting the periodic table. Sheldon's mention of the day the girls played hookey to visit Disneyland reminded him of a slightly disheveled but undeniably sexy Penny in her Sleeping Beauty costume. The vision was making his blood run south. Penny in any costume was mouth-watering, but he needed to get his mind off that. After all, he was about to spend a routine day with the likes of Sheldon, Raj and Howard amidst some very dangerous lasers. He couldn't afford the sort of distraction that visions of Wonder Woman Penny could….

"So, Sheldon," he squeaked. Clearing his throat, he started again. "So, Sheldon, what about National Nurses Day and National Teachers Day and National Receptionist Day? What do you do about those?"

"Oh, those are easy," Sheldon replied, thankfully diverted from the sock issue. "You simply send an appropriate gift of appreciation to a local hospital, school, or individual. Although I've come to find that it's best to send such gifts anonymously, rather than deliver them in person. People are inordinately suspicious of gifts delivered by a stranger in person."

Leonard frowned. He wondered how many gifts Sheldon had thus far sent and how many more he would send in the future. "Doesn't that get a bit expensive, buddy? There's got to be dozens of those sorts of days throughout the year."

"There are approximately thirty-nine such days throughout the year, depending on how you interpret them." Sheldon began in a pedantic tone. "Assuming an average cost of approximately seventy-five dollars per holiday for gifts such as candies, flowers, or pizza, that comes to just under three thousand dollars each year. I have much more than that left over from my annual salary, and my Roth IRA contributions are already maxed out, as is my University 401K, so it hardly represents a hardship." Sheldon paused to glance at his roommate, who continued to drive despite the fact that his jaw had dropped nearly to his knees. He shrugged and went on. "Curiously, there are a number of somewhat redundant examples. For instance, National Teacher's Day occurs on the first Tuesday of the first full week in May, while World Teacher's Day falls on October fifth. Similarly, nurses are celebrated with National Nurses Day and School Nurses day, both of which are in the first week of May; as well as International Nurses Day on May twelfth, Emergency Nurses Day on October ninth and Operating Room Nurse Day on November fourteenth. Although given the services rendered by those groups, I suppose it is appropriate to accord them multiple days."

Sheldon paused again. Looking around, he realized that they were no longer on the familiar route to the University.

"Leonard!" he shouted, and the car suddenly swerved to the right, narrowly missing a cluster of trash bins gathered beside a residential driveway. "Leonard," he repeated, "You missed the turn-off into the parking lot. Now we have to turn around and double-back. We'll be late and you know how I feel about punctuality!"

"Sheldon!" answered the infuriated driver. "You know how I feel about passengers who YELL IN THE CAR. You almost made me crash again and how is it that you have three-thousand dollars to waste on gifts to complete strangers, but you refuse to tip my girlfriend more than fifteen percent when she gets your convoluted order absolutely perfect?"

Leonard made a U-turn in the middle of the street and headed back the way they came.

"Fifteen percent is a perfectly acceptable tip for what is merely adequate service, Leonard. Getting my order perfect is only what I would expect in any restaurant, from any waitress. To earn a greater tip, Penny would have to do something truly extraordinary, such as serving my beverage in a clean glass or providing a fresh napkin when one falls to the floor. Really, Leonard, just because you have coitus with the woman doesn't mean she earns extra consideration from me!"

Leonard turned the car into the parking lot and navigated to their usual spot. As he killed the engine, he turned to his friend. "She's also your friend, Sheldon. I would think that would count for something."

"It does, Leonard." Sheldon held his bag tightly to his chest as he moved to open the door and exit the vehicle. Stepping outside, he spoke over the roof of the car. "In spite of her lack of education, her aversion to order and cleanliness and her other somewhat unsavory traits, I've come to value Penny's friendship. That friendship, however, has no bearing on the professional relationship between waiter and wait-ee. It would be unfair to all the other wait persons who provide services to me if I were to allow our friendship to influence my tip."

The two men proceeded up the steps into the Physics building.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've already determined that I will celebrate National Waiters and Waitresses Day on May twenty-first by singling out Penny with a gift of appreciation. Do you think she would prefer a nice box of chocolates, or a star named after her?"

Leonard paused before turning down the corridor to his laboratory, which was on the opposite end of the building from Sheldon's office.

"I think she'd prefer a decent tip, for once. And since it's a Tuesday and we'll be eating at the Cheesecake Factory, you'll have the perfect opportunity to surprise her. In fact, since you're so flush with cash, you can surprise all of us and spring for the whole meal! How's that for a holiday celebration?"

Leonard spun on his heel and strode down the hall, leaving a somewhat perplexed Sheldon standing in the building's foyer.

"But Leonard!" He called down the hall to the departing man's back. "Why would I treat all of you? Friendship Day isn't until the first Sunday in August!"

There was no answer. Sheldon shook his head, turned and began thinking of the work he needed to do that day. But the puzzle of the socks problem continued to plague him. He would have to determine who arranged those two holidays and send them a strongly worded letter.

* * *

Sheldon left work early that day and met Amy, who picked him up in the parking lot. They were headed to Long Beach to tour the Queen Mary. Sheldon insisted that they go on the Ghosts and Legends tour, but agreed that they would also take the Princess Diana tour if there was time. On the short drive, Sheldon engaged Amy to help with his sock conundrum.

"You know, Sheldon," Amy began. "I think it will be very appropriate if you and I celebrate Lost Sock Memorial Day together. As it happens, this year May ninth is also National Train Day. We can combine the two by whimsically wearing mismatched socks – the inference, of course, being that each has a lost mate – while we visit the Railroad Museum.

"You're suggesting we go out in public with mismatched hosiery?" Sheldon turned to look closely at his girlfriend, who was smiling slyly while keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead. "Amy Farrah Fowler, you never cease to surprise me! I must admit, I find the notion of sharing such a breach of decorum with you oddly titillating. But I'm unclear as to how lost socks have a significance that make the day particularly appropriate to us."

Amy made a noise of mingled exasperation and affection. "Don't you remember, Sheldon," she explained excitedly. "It was, in part, a lost sock that influenced you to agree to meet the online date that Howard and Raj arranged in your name. That date was me!"

Sheldon shook his head and sighed. "That was not a _**lost**_ sock, Amy, it was a _**dirty**_ sock. There is a difference."

Amy briefly glanced over and smiled before turning back to watch the traffic. "I know it was a _**dirty**_ sock, Sheldon. But I think it is safe to assume that the owner didn't leave it up on the roof on purpose. Therefore, we can surmise that it was also a _**lost**_ sock; meaning that it was a _**lost**_ sock that brought us together. It's sort of romantic, don't you think?"

Sheldon wondered again how such a brilliant scientific mind as Amy's could also be so frivolous. It was Penny's influence, he was sure. The woman he had met in that coffee shop would never have allowed the word "romantic" to fall from her lips. To be fair, he had to admit that the man he was on that day would not be as aware of how full those lips were; nor would he be thinking of how soft and warm they felt when latched on to his own.

"Sheldon?"

He jerked, surprised out of the vivid daydream in which he'd indulged. He was experiencing firsthand the tendency to distraction that he so often lamented in Leonard and Howard. He felt he needed to take himself in hand and stop this nonsense before he became just as mediocre as they were. On the other hand, he was well aware that he'd seen Par-ee and he did not think he could ever be kept down on the farm again. He would simply have to find ways to minimize the damage.

"I hardly think there is anything in the least _romantic_ about socks, especially those that are lost _**or**_ dirty," he countered. "However, as we will be visiting the train museum together, and it is Lost Sock Memorial Day as well, I concede that both of us wearing mismatched socks is an adequate as well as amusing means of marking the day."

Sheldon had a sudden inspiration. He'd spoken with Leonard about this sort of thing before, and although he still really didn't understand it, he thought his idea might have merit. He decided to try it out.

"As the coffee shop where we met is not far from the railroad museum, we can stop there after our visit, if you like. I believe that might be, as you say, romantic. Especially given that the anniversary of that meeting is coming up soon."

For the second time that day, Sheldon Cooper endured a heart-stopping moment as the car he was riding in suddenly swerved and narrowly avoided collision.

"AMY FARRAH FOWLER!" he shouted. "Keep your hands on the wheel! Just because we now have an Agreement that allows physical touching and kissing does not mean that you can endanger our lives by indulging in such behavior while you hold those lives in your very hands! Keep your mind on the road, woman!"

Sheldon was surprised to see that Amy was smiling when she should be wearing an expression of remorse and repentance for her obvious violation of the spirit, if not the letter of the Agreement. He realized they would have to have some serious discussions on the appropriate times and places to practice the activities allowed for in the newly added section of the Relationship Agreement. Perhaps it would be best if he were to lead by example…

* * *

**Author's Note: **Coming up: Eat What You Want Day, Twilight Zone Day and Limerick Day.

FF_1807614_ 6/22/2013


	7. The Cleaning Contradiction

**Author's Note: Chapter 7 – May 10****th**** through 17****th****. I have to say, I'm not terribly happy with this chapter. I wanted to do something with the whole gang, but honestly, the May holidays don't really provide a lot of inspiration. **

**Inspired by **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. **

**DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**. I'd be rich and could afford to celebrate all these holidays as well. They are all found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**The Cleaning Contradiction**

Sheldon yawned, making no effort to stifle or mask the gesture.

"Sheldon," griped Howard, "We all know this sort of adult dinner party is not your idea of a good time. But you can at least make a little effort not to broadcast your boredom." He glanced affectionately at his wife. "Bernadette worked hard to make a brisket as good as my moms, and I'm proud of her. If you're so unhappy spending a nice evening in adult company, I can let you clean out the garage."

The group of seven friends was gathered around the small dining table in Howard and Bernadette's tiny apartment. This evening was one in a series of efforts to graduate their social gatherings to a more sophisticated, adult sort of entertainment, divorced from the games and other juvenile activities that figured prominently in their nerdish youths. Sheldon did not like it, and made no effort to conceal his dislike. But he attended these excruciating evenings anyway, because Amy convinced him it was the correct thing to do, and because she wanted him to. It was bad enough he had to endure this sort of thing at the university to get funding or tenure or for any of a number of professional reasons that had nothing whatsoever to do with his real work. Having to sit making polite but boring conversation when he could be enjoying a good action-packed role-playing game was nothing short of torture.

And the fact that he could clearly see Howard's X-box sitting across the room, idle, only served to rub salt into his wounds.

"Oh, he's not bored, Howard," explained Amy before Sheldon could say anything. "Or at least, that's not why he's yawning." She reached under the table and surreptitiously gave her boyfriend's thigh an affectionate pat. It wasn't strictly allowed in the new Agreement, as they were in public. But Amy was exploring the boundaries to see just how much Sheldon would let her get away with. His scowl told her clearly she had pushed too far and she immediately moved her hand decorously back to her own lap. "He's merely tired," she said in a more subdued voice. "You see, we were out late last Tuesday and then again last night celebrating holidays. This morning he was obliged to wake up early because it's Clean Up Your Room Day and as we already agreed to attend your lovely soiree this evening, he had to accomplish that before work."

"So you see, Howard," Sheldon interjected. "It would not be appropriate for me to clean your garage today, as it is Clean Up Your Room Day, not Clean Up Your Garage Day. Do you have a room you would like me to clean?"

The physicist yawned again, but this time made the effort to stifle it, although his effort was not very successful.

"No, thank you," Howard muttered. "We only have the two rooms here and Mom and Bernadette did a pretty thorough job on both of them last weekend. Honestly," he continued beaming with affection at his wife. "I don't know where she finds the time between work and laundry and her cooking lessons with Mom." He returned his attention to the brisket, which really was nearly as good as his mother's.

"So Sheldon," Bernadette said, quickly erasing the expression of annoyance from her face and attempting to keep the dinner conversation flowing. "What holidays are coming up and how do you plan to celebrate them?"

Sheldon brightened a bit, his enthusiasm for his odd obsession shining through his fatigue and banishing his boredom. "Tomorrow is Twilight Zone Day, so naturally I'll be watching several episodes of the original and both revival series. Also, tomorrow evening there is a special screening of the 1983 movie at the Playhouse. You're all welcome to join me. For those who appreciate a bit of sensationalist trivia, you'll recall that actor Vic Morrow was tragically killed in a helicopter accident during the filming."

Apparently not the least bit affected by this appalling anecdote, Sheldon continued animatedly. "It's also Eat What You Want Day, so I'll have to ponder what I want to eat. Of course, part of me wants to eat just what I normally eat on a Saturday, but you all know how impetuous I can be! It will be almost like Anything Can Happen Thursday – only on Saturday!"

"What about Mother's Day on Sunday, Sheldon?" Leonard asked, trying not to choke as he swallowed a laugh with his green beans. "Will you be calling your mom?"

"Not only will I be calling her, Leonard," Sheldon confirmed. "As Sunday is also Limerick Day, I plan to greet her with a limerick, although I have yet to find a suitable verse. I may have to attempt writing one on my own."

Leonard suppressed a grin at the thought of Sheldon Cooper writing poetry of any kind, even something as simple as a limerick. "Well, good luck with that, buddy. I think I'll stick to the traditional flowers and card for my mom."

Penny waved a fork full of potatoes in Sheldon's direction. "Isn't Monday Leprechaun Day? What're you gonna do for that, Shelly-bean?"

Amy smiled at her bestie. Penny and Bernadette were nearly as aware of the upcoming holidays as was Amy herself. After hearing Amy's stories about Lover's Day and Poetry Reading Day, the girls had avidly discussed upcoming holidays with Amy as part of their regular girl's nights. They wracked their collective brains to see if any of the days could be worked into some sort of Coax Sheldon Into Greater Intimacy Day. She knew they still felt bad about the teasing on Kiss Your Mate Day, even though she forgave them and told them it had, in fact, turned into a watershed of sorts for her relationship. It was on that night that Sheldon first kissed her, after all. That, however, was a detail Amy had not yet divulged to her friends. Somehow, it felt more special to keep it a secret - just hers and Sheldon's - at least for now.

Unfortunately, none of the May holidays held any promise in that regard. Still, they giggled and laughed at the thought of Sheldon celebrating Frog Jumping Day and Dance Like a Chicken Day. Amy knew that Sheldon was terribly disappointed to discover that the famous Calaveras County Fair Frog Jumping contest would be held, not on Frog Jumping Day, but on the following weekend. Sheldon was a purist and insisted that the day must be celebrated on the day, and not on the nearest convenient weekend. That particular discussion launched him into a long tirade on the iniquity of celebrating the birthdays of famous presidents and civil rights leaders on the nearest convenient Monday instead of the historically correct date. He worried that one day Congress would proclaim that the Fourth of July fell on the second or third, or whatever day was most acceptable to those desiring a long weekend getaway. It had taken him some time to wind down and return to the subject of upcoming holidays. He decided he would have to settle for reading Twain's short story of the jumping frog on that day instead of attending the actual event. She smiled, remembering his response to her own query regarding Leprechaun Day.

"On Leprechaun Day," Sheldon addressed Penny, his voice taking on that knowing timbre it always had when he thought he was about to get the better of someone. "Leonard, Howard, Raj and I will be spending an enjoyable evening of Dungeons and Dragons while you ladies waste your time in Las Vegas indulging in gossip, gambling and far too much wine. For one night only, my Elvin Magic User will sit the evening out and I will take on the new character of Lachlann the Leprechaun." He eyed each of the other men in turn. "I warn you, gentleman, leprechauns are sly, crafty creatures, full of mischief. Prepare to be tricked and bamboozled."

The guys all laughed at the thought of the tall, lanky Texan playing the part of a plump, diminutive Irish sprite. Amy thought it might be worth postponing their Vegas trip to see that. But she knew that D&D was to Sheldon and the boys like football and other such sports were to most men – a bastion of testosterone fueled competitive male bonding to which women were not welcome.

"So, what about Chocolate Chip Day and Sea Monkey Day?" asked Raj, who up until now sat quietly picking at his food. He'd announced a few days ago that Lucy agreed to come to the dinner, only to have to tell everyone that she once again backed out at the last minute, unable to endure the pressure of spending an evening with so many of his friends all at once.

Sheldon turned to face the young Indian, who was sitting next to him, on the opposite side from Penny. "May 15th, National Chocolate Chip Day is also Police Officer's Memorial Day. I plan to whip up a batch of my Meemaw's special chocolate chip cookies and take them to the Pasadena police station, as a gift to all the men and women who protect and serve every day."

"While I understand that Sea-Monkey Day most likely refers to the brand of brine-shrimp traditionally sold in advertisements in the back of comic books," Sheldon continued, "I choose to celebrate the day by exploring the latest release of the SeaMonkey application suite, rather than resuscitating a batch of what are, essentially, fish food. On that same day I plan to endulge my inner hippie by hugging a tree in honor of Love a Tree Day, and I will be Wearing Purple for Peace. I think my nanotubes shirt will serve that purpose nicely."

Sheldon picked up his water glass, examined the rim a moment and set it back down. "Finally, you should be aware, Leonard, that I will not need you to drive me to work on Friday, as May 17th is National Bike to Work Day. I've arranged to rent a bicycle for the day and will be employing it as my means of transportation."

"Really, Sheldon," asked Leonard. "Do you think riding a bike to work is such a good idea?"

"Yea, Sheldon," Bernadette added. "When was the last time you even rode a bike at all?"

Sheldon looked surprised and a little miffed. "I was an excellent bike rider in my youth," he countered. "I had to be. My bike riding escapades frequently ended with me being chased by any number of neighborhood bullies bent on stealing my bell or my spoke flags or my cool, limited edition Star Wars speeder bike helmet." Suddenly Sheldon grinned in that excited way that always made Amy smile. "I looked just like Luke Skywalker zipping down the street on my big blue BMX bike. And you know what they say," he continued, scanning the group. "It's just like riding a bicycle – you don't forget how. Ha ha!" He laughed in his typical breathy way.

Leonard was clearly concerned. Everyone knew that Sheldon often overestimated his own abilities.

"Just the same, Sweetie," Penny said, "It's been awhile since you've been on a bike, and the streets of Pasadena probably aren't a lot like the streets back home in Texas. Maybe you should just skip that holiday. You can still celebrate Pack Rat Day instead."

"_**Lord**_, Penny! You _**must**_ be joking!" Sheldon responded, horrified. "If there is _**any**_ holiday that I skip, it will be Pack Rat Day." He shuddered. "I've watched some episodes of a television reality show devoted to people who are semi-professional pack rats and I've come near to physical illness at the sight of such filth and clutter." He paused, obviously controlling his gorge at the memory. "No, I will not be celebrating that horrid excuse for a holiday. I will be biking to work and that's final."

Leonard leaned over and whispered in his girlfriend's ear. "And I will be getting up early and following him all the way to work to make sure he doesn't get himself killed."

Penny nodded and reached a hand under the table, giving her boyfriend's thigh an affectionate squeeze. She loved how he cared for the crazy whack-a-doodle who was his roommate and best friend. Even when Sheldon was being his most insufferable, Leonard always seemed to take it all in stride, keeping his cool (for the most part) and patiently dealing with whatever Sheldon could dish out. It gave her warm feelings inside thinking that was the sort of father Leonard would be to their children – loving and patient while allowing the kids to become the people they wanted to be.

Penny shook her head. _Where did __**that**__ thought come from?_ She turned to stare at the food on her plate, her eyes glancing sideways to examine the man sitting next to her. _Am I really at __**that**__ place? _ She thought. _Am I ready to settle down and pop the question, not to mention the kids and the house and the white picket fence?_ She began to shovel brisket and potatoes into her mouth as fast as she could chew, trying unsuccessfully to banish the fearsome thoughts from her head.

* * *

Penny woke up Sunday morning hearing the Twilight Zone theme song in her head. She'd spent a good part of the previous evening across the hall with Leonard, Sheldon and Amy. They got a blessed break when Sheldon went downstairs for an hour to do his laundry, but aside from that, it was three straight hours of that same song every twenty-five minutes.

She had to admit, the episode in the plane with the Kirk guy from Star Trek was pretty creepy. She hoped she could forget that one before the next time she flew home to Nebraska for a visit. Thinking of Nebraska reminded her of Mother's Day. She would call her mother as soon as she had some coffee made, so they could visit over the phone for a while. Thinking of Mother's Day reminded her of the strange thoughts she had the other night about herself and Leonard and kids. She wasn't even sure she wanted kids at all, but when she thought of Leonard lately, she did. She wanted _**his**_ kids. She only hoped they had her looks and his brains. Not that she didn't think Leonard was good looking – he was quite handsome in his own way, and she found him very attractive – but she could imagine his looks translated into a little girl and it could so easily not turn out well.

_Knock, knock, knock _

Penny!

_Knock, knock, knock _

Penny!

_Knock, knock, knock _

Penny!

Penny lifted her head and peered at the clock. She sighed. It was eleven-thirty, so she couldn't hit Sheldon for coming over too early in the morning. She threw the covers off and got up, glancing down quickly to make sure she was decent. Sheldon was such a frequent early morning visitor that, unless Leonard was staying over, she wore loose shorts and a tank top to bed most nights, just so she didn't have to scramble to find her robe.

She ambled to the door. Even having just been woken up on a Sunday morning, her mind thought of an appropriate greeting to counterbalance her nutty neighbor's knock.

"What's the juice, silly goose?" She smiled brightly as she opened the door.

Sheldon stood back a bit from the door. He was always careful approaching her in the morning, even late morning hours. He obviously didn't completely trust Penny to abide by her own eleven o'clock rule.

"Oh my!" he began, "You see, that's exactly the reason I came over here." He ambled into the room glancing about at the typical Penny clutter. Realizing there was no clean spot for him to sit, he simply stood in the middle of the room. "Penny, you have frequently demonstrated a knack for nonsensical yet amusing rhymes, and I need your help."

Penny closed the door and went to the kitchen. She always needed something strong to deal with Sheldon. This morning that would have to be coffee. "Are you planning to write a sonnet for Amy, Sheldon?"

Sheldon followed her, and, noticing that one of the bar stools was devoid of discarded clothing or other detritus, opted to sit down. "Good heavens, no! Why would I want to do that?" He waved a hand, declining the offer implied by Penny's gesture toward her supply of tea bags. "No – I need to write a Limerick for Mother's Day. It's nearly noon and I haven't been able to come up with anything appropriate for my mother."

"Hmm…" Penny cocked her head to one side as she absently spooned ground coffee into the filter. "Let me think. _There once was a mother from Texas_… What rhymes with Texas?"

Sheldon responded immediately. "Lexis and nexus."

Penny frowned. "I don't know what those words even mean, Sheldon. Can you think of anything else?"

Sheldon shook his head. "No – those are the only two words that rhyme with Texas in _Merriam-Webster's Rhyming Dictionary_. Lexis means the vocabulary of a language – it's stock of words and idiomatic expressions. Nexus means the core of something, or a connection."

Penny looked oddly at Sheldon. "Well, I don't think we can do much with that. How about _There once was a great Texan mother_ – what rhymes with mother?"

Sheldon again responded immediately, "Brother, other, smother and another. The book also included rather, but I don't see how that rhymes with mother, except for the shared _–ther_ syllable."

Penny sighed. The coffee was ready and she poured herself a tall cup, Stepping to the refrigerator, she realized she was out of milk again and grabbed some of the soy milk that Leonard kept stocked. She hoped there would be enough left for his cereal the next time he stayed over.

Penny stared at Sheldon a moment, thinking hard. "I'm sorry, Sheldon. You and your mother just don't inspire me. You and Amy, on the other hand…"

"What do you mean, me and Amy?" Sheldon replied, looking puzzled.

Penny grinned and recited:

_There once was a woman named Amy_

_Whose science was not cockamamie_

_She once caught the eye_

_Of this physicist guy_

_And now we all call them the Shamy!_

Sheldon looked askance at Penny for a moment, then laughed. "You see now, that's just what I'm talking about. Now you just need to come up with something about my mother."

"Sorry, Sheldon," Penny shook her head, then took a sip of her coffee. "You're just going to have to be satisfied with a nice limerick about you and your lady love. That's about all the creative juices I have in me this morning."

Sheldon placed his hands on the bar and stood up from the stool. "Well, I suppose that will have to suffice," he said, sounding obviously disappointed. "I had hoped to surprise my mother with both a call and a limerick on Mother's Day, but she'll just have to be happy with the phone call."

He turned to go back to his own apartment, then stopped and turned back, nearly running into Penny.

"I suppose I could call Amy and share your amusing, if somewhat inaccurate limerick with her."

Penny nearly spewed her coffee. "What!" She set the cup down on the coffee table, and grasped Sheldon's arm. "I really wouldn't recommend sharing that with Amy, Sheldon. You know how she feels about the whole _Shamy_ thing." She released his arm and swatted at it suddenly. "And what do you mean, _inaccurate_?"

Sheldon had been staring at the hand holding his arm, then looked up in surprise at the sudden slap.

"Well," he began and Penny noticed a slight color tingeing the normally pale man's cheeks. "Perhaps not so much _inaccurate_ as _incomplete_." He looked down, suddenly studying his shirt front and sleeves and brushing a microscopic bit of lint from the spot where Penny's hand was a moment before. "Amy caught my _mind_ as well as my _eye_, Penny. If you're going to compose silly rhymes about us, you can at least tell the full story."

Penny grinned, feeling a surge of triumph. "So, you admit you were attracted to her, _physically_ as well as mentally!"

Sheldon stared at his neighbor a moment. He schooled his shocked features into a more neutral expression. Nodding once, he said, "Thank you for helping me with a limerick on Limerick Day, Penny." Then he turned on his heel and left, not bothering to close the door behind him.

Penny followed and watched her uptight friend cross the hall and return to his own apartment. There was a mild slam as he shut the door behind him. Penny gently closed her own door, wondering how much longer it would take Sheldon to really come to terms with the true nature of his relationship with Amy.

"Relationship of the mind, my ass!" She chuckled, grabbing her coffee walking to the kitchen for a refill. She still needed to call her own mother.

* * *

**Author's Note: I plan to finish out the month of May in the next chapter, which includes both National Waiters and Waitresses Day and Lucky Penny Day. Those should make for some fun Sheldon / Penny interaction. Then we can move into June which includes Dare Day, Best Friends Day and Flag Day.**

FF_1807614_ 6/30/2013


	8. The Friendship Expostulation

**Author's Note: Chapter 8 – May 18****th**** through 31st. Apparently, if you try to get through almost two weeks of holidays in one chapter, you wind up with a very long chapter. I hope it's worth it. Enjoy. And remember – every day is Fanfic Appreciation Day. So show your appreciation and drop a review, okay?**

**Inspired by **_**The Opposite Day Speculation**_** by We Built the Pyramids. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**. The holidays can be found on the website Holiday Insights ( www. holidayinsights .com ). This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – The Friendship Expostulation**

"I just don't understand why he insists that we _all_ go," Penny whined to Leonard as she finished putting on her comfortable walking shoes. Saturday holidays tended to be like this. Sheldon would insist that the entire group participate in whatever celebratory activities he planned, and it was getting old. It wasn't that often that Penny got a whole weekend off from The Cheesecake Factory and she had her own plans which mostly involved Leonard, a bed and maybe some food ordered in occasionally to keep up their strength. Her boyfriend would be leaving in a few days to spend four months on a boat in the middle of a big ocean and she frankly wasn't feeling much like sharing what little time they had left.

"I know, sweetheart," Leonard called from his spot on the couch. "But at least we'll have this evening to ourselves. Since Sheldon can't get away to Texas for Visit Your Relatives Day, he's actually _volunteering_ to go with Amy to visit her mom. I don't think he really understands what he's getting himself into. The way I understand it, the last time he spoke to Amy's mother, he bragged about making love to Amy's vagina on a regular basis."

Penny walked into the room, laughing, her hands busy putting in an earring. She moved to insert it's mate into the other ear and came up behind Leonard. Leaning over she whispered, "Maybe when you get back, we can go visit my parents in Nebraska. It's about time you met my mom, and I think Dad will be happy to hear we really are back together this time. But let's not tell them how well acquainted you are with my vagina, ok?"

Leonard nearly spewed his water across the coffee table and turned to look at his girlfriend. Penny stood up, grinning, and began searching for her purse. Leonard wasn't sure what shocked him more, Penny's reference to his familiarity with her vagina, or her suggestion that they make their first official "meet the parents" trip. More and more he realized that September could not come soon enough – and he hadn't even left yet!

* * *

Howard and Bernadette joined the group at a large table in the restaurant, apologizing for arriving late. Raj was seated at the end of the table, with Sheldon and Amy on one side, Leonard and Penny on the other. Howard brought over an extra chair and sat opposite from Raj. Sharing the end with Bernadette, he signaled a waitress to provide an extra place setting.

"This is a great, idea, Sheldon," said Bernadette. "We eat every meal out today, so - No Dirty Dishes Day, yay!" She looked pointedly at her husband, who suddenly found something fascinating in the menu the waitress handed to him.

"I fail to understand why restaurants insist on the term _brunch_," Sheldon complained as he read his menu. "The selections offered are clearly breakfast items as they mostly include eggs, and waffles and pancakes. The only aspect of lunch here is the extended hours during which they offer their breakfast menu. If they wish to combine breakfast and lunch in a single meal they should offer a hamburger with a side of grits, or an omelet with French fries." Sheldon looked up from his menu to call the waitress to his side of the table. "Tell me, miss, if someone comes to your restaurant in the prevening, are they provided with a menu for Lunner?"

"I'm sorry, sir," the waitress answered, confused. "Is lunner a type of fish? I don't think we serve that."

Sheldon merely shook his head and continued perusing his menu.

* * *

Despite being practically forced into it, the entire group enjoyed their trip to the California Science Center in celebration of International Museum Day. They visited the newly arrived Endeavor Space Shuttle and endured Howard's long-winded explanation of why the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System was a vast improvement over the Space Potty deployed on the shuttles. Amy and Bernadette convinced the others to visit the World of Life section where they enjoyed several exhibits all about how living things work and survive. Sheldon became particularly excited playing a computer game designed to show how the body battles invading bacteria. Amy had a fit of the giggles when he proclaimed that he wished he could do the same thing with his Xbox at home.

"You'll just have to stick to Vapo-Rub," she told him, giving him a knowing look and an affectionate pat. She wasn't sure what made Penny suddenly snort and start coughing.

After a late lunch, which Sheldon insisted on calling LunDin, the group parted company. Sheldon and Amy got in Amy's car to go to her mother's, while Penny and Leonard crowded into Bernadette's car with Howard and Raj for the trip back to Pasadena.

* * *

"We don't really have to do this if you don't want to, Sheldon," Amy insisted as they drove along the freeway. "Just say the word and I'll call and cancel. My mother's used to it. I frequently promise to come visit and cancel at the last minute."

"Why Amy!" Sheldon exclaimed. "That's terrible! Why do you treat your mother like that?"

Amy quickly turned to glance at her boyfriend. "You don't understand, Sheldon. My mother smothers me. Since she lives so close, she thinks I should still live at home. I realize she loves me and she only wants the best for me, but she's never quite learned that I'm a grown woman capable of making my own choices."

"Regardless," Sheldon countered, "You should be nicer to her. You have a great deal for which to be grateful to her, after all. Why, if it were not for your mother, and her insistence that date annually, you might never have met me."

Amy flipped the turn signal and moved into the exit lane. "I know that, Sheldon," she huffed. "And I realize that she gave me life and raised me. But there's only so far my gratitude can go, especially when she gets controlling. When I spoke to her about this visit, she kept insisting that we stay overnight with her. She even told me that in case you were unable to stay away from my vagina for one night while under her roof, she would sleep with earplugs."

Sheldon turned to stare at Amy. His hands were pressing down on his thighs, rubbing up and down nervously as the implications of Amy's last comment sank in. "Do you mean to say you have not informed your mother that our prior communication was a ruse?"

Amy laughed. "Of course not, Sheldon. For the past two and a half years, I've enjoyed a blessed respite from her constant nagging that I move back in with her, as well as her continued silence on the subject of my love life. And it's all thanks to the fact that she thinks you and I are humping like bunnies on a nightly basis." Pulling to a stop at a red light, Amy turned to grin at him. "I've already planned to use your unquenchable libido as an excuse to cut our visit short, should that become necessary!"

Sheldon looked at Amy with dawning horror. "Were you planning on coaching me on my role in this farce?" he asked. "I am many things, Amy Farrah Fowler, but a liar and a rake I am not! I'm not prepared to play the part of a depraved lothario for an extended evening run!"

The light turned green and Amy turned her attention back to the road. "Don't worry. I've already told mother that you and I are having a bit of a tiff due to a pregnancy scare. You can just sit and be quiet and she'll assume you're still upset with me and being standoffish because of it."

Sheldon shook his head. "Oh, this is going from bad to worse," he moaned. "Now your mother thinks I'm the kind of man who would abandon his responsibilities. I got you pregnant and was all set to leave you in the lurch. I'm the worst kind of cad!"

Amy snorted. "Don't worry. I told my mother that we argued because I wanted to put the baby up for adoption but you wanted to marry me and settle down. She thinks you're a saint!"

Sheldon grew silent for a while as Amy navigated the streets to her mother's home. She parked the car in front of a smallish bungalow that was painted a cheery yellow with deep rust colored shutters. Before she could open the door, Sheldon reached out and grasped her arm.

"Amy," he began, looking intently at her. "If you had agreed to marry me and raise our child, would you have stayed Amy Farrah Fowler, or would you have taken my name?"

Amy looked down at the hand still clasping her forearm. Confusion, surprise and a guarded happiness crossed her face in quick succession. "I - - I think Amy Fowler-Cooper has a kind of nice ring to it, don't you?" she asked, nervously.

"It does." Sheldon agreed. Letting go of her arm, he opened his own door and got out of the car. He waited for Amy to come around, then escorted her up the walk to the front door.

* * *

On Monday Amy took Sheldon to the grocery store where he spent thirty minutes in the produce section, picking through the strawberries to celebrate Pick Strawberries Day. Later that evening, the group gathered around a vintage Monopoly game board. Sheldon spent much of the past week printing additional play money so that each player would start with one million dollars in celebration of Be a Millionaire Day.

For National Waiters and Waitresses Day, the group dined at The Cheesecake Factory as usual. Sheldon was deeply disappointed when the manager refused to allow he and his friends to take over the duties of the normal wait staff, to give them a break on their special day. The rest of the group was deeply grateful for the manager's good sense. As an alternative, Sheldon offered to treat the staff to a meal, and was again disappointed when the manager refused to allow them all to stop what they were doing so they could all dine together. He finally settled on presenting each waiter and waitress with a gift certificate that would allow them to return when they were off duty to enjoy a meal as a customer.

Wednesday was the day before Leonard was due to leave for his four month trip. It was also Buy a Musical Instrument Day. Having mastered the theremin, Sheldon wasn't sure if he wanted to devote the time to learn another instrument, until Leonard reminded him that the holiday was _Buy_ a Musical Instrument, not _Learn_ a Musical Instrument. Whereupon Sheldon went down to the music store, purchased a flute and promptly took it to the local school board to donate it to their music program.

* * *

After Leonard left the following day, Penny returned home with Sheldon. A short while later he heard Amy and Bernadette arrive, closely followed by Raj. He knew the girls were there to cheer Penny up, and he knew Raj was elated about his newfound ability to talk to them. He thought about joining them, but didn't think he could tolerate what he was sure was a forced atmosphere of jocularity. He missed his roommate – his best friend – already and he had no idea how he would get through four months of this.

Just before ten o'clock, he heard a knock on his door. He'd gone to bed at his usual time, but he was uncharacteristically unable to sleep, knowing he was alone in the apartment. He'd slept alone often, of course, but on those occasions, he knew that Leonard was just across the hall. Tonight, Leonard was just around the world.

Shuffling into his slippers, he wrapped his robe around himself and went to answer the door.

"Penny!" he exclaimed, not really surprised. "Come in." He stood aside as the blond shuffled in, looking lost and forlorn.

"You look upset," Sheldon commented. "May I get you a hot beverage?"

Penny looked up at him and for the first time, Sheldon noticed the tears streaking her cheeks. "I don't want a hot beverage, Sheldon! I want Leonard back."

She sat down suddenly on the couch and held her face in her hands. Sheldon sat down in his spot, unsure how to proceed since his offer of a hot beverage was refused.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, the only sound the occasional muffled sob from the blond woman. Sheldon reached over tentatively and gingerly patted her shoulder. He knew from recent experience that, however uncomfortable physical touching made him feel, it could be comforting to a person in distress.

As he continued to lightly pat Penny's shoulder, Sheldon sidled closer to her. He changed from patting to lightly stroking, then, moving closer still, he carefully put an arm around her shoulder.

Penny turned to stare at her germ phobic neighbor. "Sheldon?" she asked.

"I told you, Penny," Sheldon said. "I'm working on it."

They sat for a few more moments, when Penny slowly and carefully lay her head on Sheldon's shoulder.

"You know," Sheldon said tentatively. "Today is Lucky Penny Day. Do you feel lucky, Penny?"

Lifting her head from his shoulder, Penny stared at the wacky scientist. "Sheldon," she started, "how am I lucky? My boyfriend, who I have only recently been able to admit I love, is off in the middle of nowhere on a ship and won't be back for four months and I have no idea how I'm going to get through all that time without him!" She began crying in earnest again and turned her face into Sheldon's shoulder. He felt the dampness of her tears soaking through his robe and was momentarily repulsed. But he steeled himself, and moved to wrap his other arm around her, holding her in an awkward but, he hoped, consoling hug.

"Exactly, Penny." He began patting her shoulder again and hoped she would stop crying soon. Thank goodness laundry day was just two days away. He would have to sleep without his pajama top tonight and use his spare robe until he could launder this one. "You love Leonard and you know he loves you. And you have good friends who care about you and will make sure you get through this. And when Leonard gets back, you'll have the rest of your lives together. How could you be any more lucky?"

Penny looked up again, surprise and wonder showing through her tear-spangled lashes. She shook her head and gently pulled away, lightly patting Sheldon's shoulder. "Leonard will never believe this, you know that?" she asked, smiling and dashing the tears from her eyes. "He asked me to take care of you, Sheldon. And here you are, hugging me and letting me cry on your shoulder." She laughed. "I wish I had a picture because he really won't believe me when I tell him about this!"

Sheldon looked taken aback. "Are you sure you want to tell him, Penny? It may disturb his concentration if he knows you're this upset about his absence. And a lack of concentration is not a good thing to have on a ship at sea."

Penny paused for a moment, banishing the vision of Leonard slipping off a wind-whipped deck and into the roiling surf by sheer force of will.

"You're right, Sheldon. Leonard needs to focus on his work. He knows I'm going to miss him, but it's important that he not be too concerned about that. We'll just keep this between the two of us, at least until he gets back, okay?"

"Agreed." Sheldon nodded. "And now, if you're sufficiently comforted, I'd like to get back to bed."

Penny chuckled and got to her feet. "I'm fine, Sheldon," she said as she walked over to the door, the tall man walking behind her. She opened the door, then stopped and turned back. "Thank you, Sheldon. You're right, it is Lucky Penny Day. If Leonard hadn't left, I never would have discovered what a great friend you really are."

She leaned up on her tiptoes and tried to give him a friendly kiss on the cheek, but couldn't quite stretch up far enough. Sheldon looked down at her and slowly bent his knees to bring his face closer to her level. Reaching up again, Penny lightly touched her lips to his cheek and turned to walk lightly across the hall to her own apartment.

* * *

Amy excitedly picked Sheldon up the following evening. He was taking her to a romantic French restaurant for dinner. She knew it was all about National Escargot Day, but it was still an unscheduled date at a nice French restaurant on a Friday night.

Sheldon chewed his Escargot for about three minutes before spitting it out and declaring that it tasted like a mudball soaked in garlic butter. But the rest of the candlelit meal was magic.

On Saturday, May 25th, Sheldon once again gathered that gang, minus Leonard of course, to attend a free Jazz concert in the park in celebration of International Jazz Day, followed by a trip to a local dance school's recital to watch some of the students tap dance for Tap Dance Day.

On May 26th, Amy invited Sheldon to celebrated Sally Ride Day at her apartment watching a compilation of news footage about the first US woman astronaut. Sheldon was impressed that Amy knew that Sally Ride was also a physicist, educated at nearby Stanford University. On the following day, Memorial Day, they patriotically raised a flag on the roof of 2311 Los Robles, then honored Sun Screen Day by going to the beach and liberally rubbing sun screen on each other's few bits of exposed skin. It wasn't quite as good as the VapoRub, Amy thought, but it was something.

To round out the week, Amy convinced Sheldon that setting up a composting bin in his kitchen for Learn About Composting Day was not a wise idea, citing the inevitable smell and possible germ problem. Still, he spent much of the evening researching the composting process on the Internet, and even walked over to Penny's to inquire about how composting was done on her father's farm in Nebraska.

On Thursday, Amy drove by to pick Sheldon up from work and found him outside the Physics building, busily watering the carefully landscaped flower beds, until the grounds keeper chased him off with a rake. It was Water a Flower Day, of course.

Friday, May 31st was National Macaroon Day and Save Your Hearing Day. While driving Sheldon to work, Penny stopped at a local bakery so he could pick up some Macaroons, and promised to have her hearing checked. Sheldon mentioned he was particularly concerned about Penny's hearing in light of the extremely loud noises she made during coitus. That sort of screaming, he said, could easily injure one's eardrums. He planned to urge that Leonard likewise have his hearing checked next time they spoke via Skype. Leonard, Sheldon explained, was likely in even greater danger than Penny as his ears might have been closer to the source of the noise. Penny muttered that, actually, when she was screaming, Leonard's ears were about three feet lower down. Sheldon was confused at this, but Penny insisted he should ask Amy or refer to the book they gave him. Shuddering at thought of the book, Sheldon asked Amy during their own Skype session that evening. Amy refused to explain, merely promising to show him one day.

The following morning, Saturday, June 1st, Amy turned on her laptop and navigated to the holidays website to see what the next month might have in store. She wondered just how long Sheldon would keep this up. It had been nearly two months and he showed no signs of losing interest.

Perusing the list of June holidays, she wondered how Sheldon would manage such things as National Bubba Day, Name Your Poison Day (she would have to be careful with that one) and International Panic Day (ditto). She sighed, realizing that there was still no Kiss a Neurobiologist Day or National Shag Your Girlfriend Day. The best she could hope for this month was to ensure she was close by on Hug Holiday on the 29th. She closed her laptop and went to shower and dress, musing about what might be in store on Flip a Coin Day and Dare Day.

* * *

FF_1807614_ 7/7/2013


End file.
